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My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'
Craig Kilborn
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Craig Kilborn
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: August 24
Actor
Basketball Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Kansas City
Missouri
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Misanthrope
Irritating
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More quotes by Craig Kilborn
President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.
Craig Kilborn
People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife.
Craig Kilborn
President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars. He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled before.
Craig Kilborn
In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.
Craig Kilborn
You may have heard this, that NASA discovered water on Mars When he heard about the water on Mars, President Bush said, 'Is it regular or unleaded?'
Craig Kilborn
Apparently, six women claim that Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them while working on his movies. Hats off to these women who admit they worked on Arnold's movies.
Craig Kilborn
Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry.
Craig Kilborn
President Bush has delivered a new resolution to the U.N. saying that Saddam has failed to cooperate with U.N. resolutions, freeing us to get our war on. Don't mess with us France, or we'll send Jerry Lewis to Iraq as a human shield.
Craig Kilborn
I always tell people I romanticize about doing something simple, like doing radio in northern California.
Craig Kilborn
I think that you're always going to have some people who are negative or view you in a certain way.
Craig Kilborn
It's not a big part, ... I wheel in an ultrasound machine and say to Taylor's gynecologist, 'If you have a problem with it, just give it a light tap on the side.' Then they hand me a urine sample, and I put it up to the light and say 'Hmm, looks pretty healthy, but I'll check.'
Craig Kilborn
As the Democrats get revved up at their convention in Boston, President Bush is fighting back the only way he knows how: by going on vacation! Ah, it's nice to take a rest, replenish your supply of smirks. The vacation was expected, because Bush traditionally takes a month off every summer to relax and avoid reading National Security Warnings.
Craig Kilborn
Comedy doesn't always have to come from a dark place.
Craig Kilborn
With Iraq plunging into chaos and gas prices at record highs President Bush took time out this weekend for a ride on his bicycle, but unfortunately he fell off and sustained cuts to his face and hands. Apparently Bush was distracted by the enormous responsibilities of the presidency. I'm just kidding. He hit some gravel or something.
Craig Kilborn
I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.
Craig Kilborn
Bryant Gumbel is thrilled about his CBS deal and can't wait to start alienating the staff of an entirely new network.
Craig Kilborn
Critics say Arnold has no previous government experience, but advisers say he's clearly the most qualified Austrian, ex-Mr. Universe in the race.
Craig Kilborn
California's economy is declining so rapidly that candidates are asking 'Are you better off now then you were four minutes ago?'
Craig Kilborn
Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'
Craig Kilborn
President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers.
Craig Kilborn