Quote

Comedy doesn't always have to come from a dark place.

Craig Kilborn

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Craig Kilborn
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: August 24
Actor
Basketball Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Kansas City
Missouri
Comedy
Dark
Doesn
Place
Come
Always

More quotes by Craig Kilborn

Image
Apparently, six women claim that Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them while working on his movies. Hats off to these women who admit they worked on Arnold's movies.
Craig Kilborn
Image
John Kerry announced his plan for how to handle those poor naked prisoners. His wife is going to buy them all a $1,000 Armani suit.
Craig Kilborn
Image
It's not a big part, ... I wheel in an ultrasound machine and say to Taylor's gynecologist, 'If you have a problem with it, just give it a light tap on the side.' Then they hand me a urine sample, and I put it up to the light and say 'Hmm, looks pretty healthy, but I'll check.'
Craig Kilborn
Image
Federal authorities have informed Martha Stewart's lawyers she will be indicted for her role in the ImClone insider trading scandal. Good news for Martha - stripes are back in this year.
Craig Kilborn
Image
I don't do well around the angry, bitter and emotionally fragile among us, which may eliminate 70% of the population.
Craig Kilborn
Image
My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'
Craig Kilborn
Image
It's weird watching President Bush struggle with excuses for why we went to war. As he struggles, it reminds us all what a terrific liar Bill Clinton really was.
Craig Kilborn
Image
I have a wonderful respect for old people.
Craig Kilborn
Image
I think that you're always going to have some people who are negative or view you in a certain way.
Craig Kilborn
Image
While there's no 'I' in team, there's also no 'you', okay? So back off.
Craig Kilborn
Image
I lived in a studio apartment until my mid-30s. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle.
Craig Kilborn
Image
John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Critics say Arnold has no previous government experience, but advisers say he's clearly the most qualified Austrian, ex-Mr. Universe in the race.
Craig Kilborn
Image
The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.
Craig Kilborn
Image
With Iraq plunging into chaos and gas prices at record highs President Bush took time out this weekend for a ride on his bicycle, but unfortunately he fell off and sustained cuts to his face and hands. Apparently Bush was distracted by the enormous responsibilities of the presidency. I'm just kidding. He hit some gravel or something.
Craig Kilborn
Image
President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one.
Craig Kilborn
Image
President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars. He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled before.
Craig Kilborn
Image
You may have heard this, that NASA discovered water on Mars When he heard about the water on Mars, President Bush said, 'Is it regular or unleaded?'
Craig Kilborn
Image
President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers.
Craig Kilborn