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President Bush has delivered a new resolution to the U.N. saying that Saddam has failed to cooperate with U.N. resolutions, freeing us to get our war on. Don't mess with us France, or we'll send Jerry Lewis to Iraq as a human shield.

Craig Kilborn

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Craig Kilborn
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: August 24
Actor
Basketball Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Kansas City
Missouri
Human
Send
Cooperate
Humans
Bush
Lewis
France
Shield
Mess
Delivered
Iraq
Shields
Saying
Jerry
President
Resolution
Resolutions
War
Failed
Freeing

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I think mankind is overly sensitive, very needy, greedy, and flawed.
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Federal authorities have informed Martha Stewart's lawyers she will be indicted for her role in the ImClone insider trading scandal. Good news for Martha - stripes are back in this year.
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I lived in a studio apartment until my mid-30s. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle.
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California's economy is declining so rapidly that candidates are asking 'Are you better off now then you were four minutes ago?'
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Howard Dean is narrowing the field of potential running mates. It's down to Mike Tyson or Bobby Knight.
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There was an embarrassing moment at a recent Democratic fundraiser. When John Kerry was handed a $10 million dollar check, he said, 'I do.'
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I don't do well around the angry, bitter and emotionally fragile among us, which may eliminate 70% of the population.
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Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.
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It's not a big part, ... I wheel in an ultrasound machine and say to Taylor's gynecologist, 'If you have a problem with it, just give it a light tap on the side.' Then they hand me a urine sample, and I put it up to the light and say 'Hmm, looks pretty healthy, but I'll check.'
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I think that you're always going to have some people who are negative or view you in a certain way.
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I always tell people I romanticize about doing something simple, like doing radio in northern California.
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Bryant Gumbel is thrilled about his CBS deal and can't wait to start alienating the staff of an entirely new network.
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As the Democrats get revved up at their convention in Boston, President Bush is fighting back the only way he knows how: by going on vacation! Ah, it's nice to take a rest, replenish your supply of smirks. The vacation was expected, because Bush traditionally takes a month off every summer to relax and avoid reading National Security Warnings.
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Here in California, one candidate for governor is a 100-year-old woman. She's going door-to-door and asking one simple question - 'Do I live here?'
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I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.
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