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In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.

Craig Kilborn

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Craig Kilborn
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: August 24
Actor
Basketball Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Kansas City
Missouri
Years
Created
Massachusetts
World
Stills
Depressed
Still
Boston
Firsts
Scientists
Human
Thirty
Humans
Red
First
Scientist
Thing
Series
Clone

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Comedy doesn't always have to come from a dark place.
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I have a wonderful respect for old people.
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I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.
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Tom Ridge now says we don't have to run out and put plastic sheets all over the house. Great, tell that to my dead parakeet.
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I always tell people I romanticize about doing something simple, like doing radio in northern California.
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Bryant Gumbel is thrilled about his CBS deal and can't wait to start alienating the staff of an entirely new network.
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President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.
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President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers.
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It's weird watching President Bush struggle with excuses for why we went to war. As he struggles, it reminds us all what a terrific liar Bill Clinton really was.
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People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife.
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If loving you is wrong, then I'll just like you a whole bunch!
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Apparently, six women claim that Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them while working on his movies. Hats off to these women who admit they worked on Arnold's movies.
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The election is in full-swing. Republicans have taken out round-the-clock ads promoting George Bush. Don't we already have that? It's called Fox News.
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There was an embarrassing moment at a recent Democratic fundraiser. When John Kerry was handed a $10 million dollar check, he said, 'I do.'
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Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.
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Declassified papers report that John Kennedy was taking eight different medications a day. He was so wasted, his Secret Service code name was Ted Kennedy.
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John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.
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I don't want to scare anybody here but we just received word from police that Howard Dean is loose and may be armed with a microphone.
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