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In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.

Craig Kilborn

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Craig Kilborn
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: August 24
Actor
Basketball Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Kansas City
Missouri
Years
Created
Massachusetts
World
Stills
Depressed
Still
Boston
Firsts
Scientists
Human
Thirty
Humans
Red
First
Scientist
Thing
Series
Clone

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While there's no 'I' in team, there's also no 'you', okay? So back off.
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As John Kerry sails toward the Democratic nomination, new questions are emerging about President Bush's service in the National Guard, like where he was for six months in 1972 and why he refused to take a routine physical. President Bush has vowed to get to the bottom of this right after Election Day.
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I think that you're always going to have some people who are negative or view you in a certain way.
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Yesterday Jerry Springer bowed out of the Ohio Senate race. He said, 'If I can't run the most embarrassing campaign in America, then I'm out of here.'
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I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.
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I lived in a studio apartment until my mid-30s. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle.
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Here in California, one candidate for governor is a 100-year-old woman. She's going door-to-door and asking one simple question - 'Do I live here?'
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Howard Dean is narrowing the field of potential running mates. It's down to Mike Tyson or Bobby Knight.
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President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one.
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The places I've worked in the past, I always stayed three years and moved on.
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John Kerry announced his plan for how to handle those poor naked prisoners. His wife is going to buy them all a $1,000 Armani suit.
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The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.
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California's economy is declining so rapidly that candidates are asking 'Are you better off now then you were four minutes ago?'
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Saddam Hussein is about to face trial and George Bush wants to execute him. Not because of the war crimes, but because Saddam is beating him in the polls.
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Tom Ridge now says we don't have to run out and put plastic sheets all over the house. Great, tell that to my dead parakeet.
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Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'
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Declassified papers report that John Kennedy was taking eight different medications a day. He was so wasted, his Secret Service code name was Ted Kennedy.
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As the Democrats get revved up at their convention in Boston, President Bush is fighting back the only way he knows how: by going on vacation! Ah, it's nice to take a rest, replenish your supply of smirks. The vacation was expected, because Bush traditionally takes a month off every summer to relax and avoid reading National Security Warnings.
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