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In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.

Craig Kilborn

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Craig Kilborn
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: August 24
Actor
Basketball Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Kansas City
Missouri
Thing
Series
Clone
Years
Created
Massachusetts
World
Stills
Depressed
Still
Boston
Firsts
Scientists
Human
Thirty
Humans
Red
First
Scientist

More quotes by Craig Kilborn

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You may have heard this, that NASA discovered water on Mars When he heard about the water on Mars, President Bush said, 'Is it regular or unleaded?'
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Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.
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Tom Ridge now says we don't have to run out and put plastic sheets all over the house. Great, tell that to my dead parakeet.
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I lived in a studio apartment until my mid-30s. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle.
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John Kerry announced his plan for how to handle those poor naked prisoners. His wife is going to buy them all a $1,000 Armani suit.
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People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife.
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With Iraq plunging into chaos and gas prices at record highs President Bush took time out this weekend for a ride on his bicycle, but unfortunately he fell off and sustained cuts to his face and hands. Apparently Bush was distracted by the enormous responsibilities of the presidency. I'm just kidding. He hit some gravel or something.
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I have a wonderful respect for old people.
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The election is in full-swing. Republicans have taken out round-the-clock ads promoting George Bush. Don't we already have that? It's called Fox News.
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As the Democrats get revved up at their convention in Boston, President Bush is fighting back the only way he knows how: by going on vacation! Ah, it's nice to take a rest, replenish your supply of smirks. The vacation was expected, because Bush traditionally takes a month off every summer to relax and avoid reading National Security Warnings.
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Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry.
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While there's no 'I' in team, there's also no 'you', okay? So back off.
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Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card.
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Apparently, six women claim that Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them while working on his movies. Hats off to these women who admit they worked on Arnold's movies.
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California's economy is declining so rapidly that candidates are asking 'Are you better off now then you were four minutes ago?'
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Over ten thousand people have signed a petition to recall Governor Schwarzenegger. I'm sorry, that is next year's joke.
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The places I've worked in the past, I always stayed three years and moved on.
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President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers.
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The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.
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