Quote

I don't think of myself of a late-show host any more than I think of myself of a game-show host. I mean, I've done both, I've been an actor. I'm just kind of a carny, that's it.

Craig Ferguson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Thinking
Late
Actor
Game
Show
Done
Mean
Kind
Think
Host

More quotes by Craig Ferguson

Image
New iPod. It looks like an iPhone but it can't make phone calls. So its really just an iPhone.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Here at CBS, spring also means March Madness. I love the name March Madness. I'm glad the PC police haven't made us change March Madness to early spring psychosis.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Betty White met with President Obama at the White House. President Obama invited Betty personally because she's great with animals. And the president's still having a tough time house-training Joe Biden.
Craig Ferguson
Image
When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we'd get drunk together. He was always very supportive. He was a big star and a lot of what he said to me had power and impact. Apart from that, I just like him.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape.
Craig Ferguson
Image
They say give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But teach a man to fish and he'll get his own show on the Discovery Channel.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Apple released the upgraded version of the iPhone 4, called the iPhone 4S. I think the S stands for suckers.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Every year there's a jury at the Cannes Film Festival. Getting on the jury is very competitive in France. Not because the French love cinema, but because they love to judge.
Craig Ferguson
Image
It takes a long time to become a lawyer because you need three things - a bachelor's degree, a law degree, and a desire to worship Satan.
Craig Ferguson
Image
By the power of Steven Wright's Beard!
Craig Ferguson
Image
I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Being the executive producer of a film is not that difficult. It just means that you have some power. There's not a huge amount of skill involved, I don't know how much I'm giving away here. I feel like that guy on Fox, giving away the magicians' tricks. It's not rocket science, being an executive producer of a film.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vaccinations.
Craig Ferguson
Image
A new restaurant here in Southern California requires women to wear high heels. I'm outraged! This is sexist! Why just the women?
Craig Ferguson
Image
I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Gas prices - it is $6 a gallon here. People in L.A. are furious. You can't tell, of course, because of the Botox.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I don't see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then have a foot out the door looking for their next job.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Santa blows all these shipping companies away. He delivers more than 2 billion packages in just 24 hours. He does it by sleigh. He doesn't use tracking numbers and doesn't use trucks. He just uses midgets and a giant bag.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Change is the law of God's mind and resistance to it is the source of all pain.
Craig Ferguson