Quote

Justin Bieber's tour bus was stopped by Canadian border patrol agents. And they found marijuana. The agents said Bieber was a disgrace to Canada and should never come back. Then they found the marijuana.

Craig Ferguson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Stopped
Disgrace
Found
Border
Bus
Back
Tour
Come
Marijuana
Never
Borders
Patrol
Agents
Justin
Canada
Canadian

More quotes by Craig Ferguson

Image
I come from a very critical culture. You know the Scots. They're always saying: 'Oh, no. It will never work. You'll never amount to anything. You've got to know your place in the world.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Strange star-like object over Oslo right before Obama arrives. A gift of a golden medal given by a group of wise men... Nah.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Today Monopoly added a new game piece: the cat. The new piece was chosen after weeks of online voting. Is that a surprise? Whenever there's a vote for something on the Internet, the cat always wins.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Andy Warhol said that in the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. Facebook is exactly like that except you're not really famous and your 15 minutes goes on forever.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Betty White met with President Obama at the White House. President Obama invited Betty personally because she's great with animals. And the president's still having a tough time house-training Joe Biden.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Aphrodisiacs come in many forms: food, drink, the internet.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Ros was dead. He had loved heroin more than it loved him. I was shocked beyond imagining he was the first of my friends to fall.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I had lived in fear of the fabled terrifying visions that assail chronic drinkers, but which had not yet attacked me.
Craig Ferguson
Image
There's something I believe wholeheartedly: Cynicism is the true refuge of the pseudo-intellectual, .. Cynicism is easy. Joy is an extremely advanced spiritual and intellectual tenet.
Craig Ferguson
Image
The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I came to America, and I made good. It's an old story, but it hasn't been told in a long time. Usually, it's, 'I'm an immigrant, I came here and got persecuted.' My story is I came here, I worked hard, and it worked out all right. So it's still available.
Craig Ferguson
Image
In the past I've been hard on the vegans. I've called them Prius-driving fascists, but now I am one of them. I have been turned to the dark side.
Craig Ferguson
Image
People sometimes say to me: Craig, get out of my garden.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I think I'll be Scottish in every movie I write. They always try to talk me out of it, but Woody Allen is always a nebbish New Yorker. Why shouldn't I be a goofy Glaswegian?
Craig Ferguson
Image
There are rumors that there is a John Edwards sex tape. People say it's twenty minutes of Edwards caressing and stroking...And that's just the part where he fixes his hair.
Craig Ferguson
Image
A dozen swimming events have already been completed in the Olympic competition. I wonder where they got the name 'Speedo.' It doesn't sound like a bathing suit, it sounds like a breakfast cereal for meth addicts.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I think in our desire to create a better America,we have to have civilized debate in this country and not just yelling.
Craig Ferguson
Image
114 isn't as old as it used to be they say its the new 104.
Craig Ferguson