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I remember talking to someone early on after I was sober about how I suddenly felt awkward at parties. They said, 'Well, you're supposed to. Everyone feels awkward at parties.' It's an appropriate feeling to feel.
Craig Ferguson
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Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Remember
Early
Wells
Feeling
Well
Party
Sober
Feel
Talking
Awkward
Feels
Everyone
Parties
Felt
Appropriate
Feelings
Suddenly
Someone
Supposed
More quotes by Craig Ferguson
I think holidays create so much pressure because people feel they should be having a good time. But you shouldn't.
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I said that the only way I could have a band that would work in the format of my show is if the band were crap. So if I have a band they'd have to really suck.
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Osama bin Laden's death has been in the news all day. Leftish stations are going, 'President Obama saves the world.' Stations on the right are going, 'Obama kills fellow Muslim.'
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There are rumors that there is a John Edwards sex tape. People say it's twenty minutes of Edwards caressing and stroking...And that's just the part where he fixes his hair.
Craig Ferguson
The 3-D effects in Star Wars are so realistic, you can actually see George Lucas reaching from the screen and taking the money from your wallet.
Craig Ferguson
People sometimes say to me: Craig, get out of my garden.
Craig Ferguson
The first day of spring is known as the vernal equinox. The equinox is special. It only happens twice a year, like a good night in ratings for NBC.
Craig Ferguson
When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die.
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Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people.
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Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party.
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I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could be done, and, after all, many of them were recovering alcoholics themselves.
Craig Ferguson
I came to America, and I made good. It's an old story, but it hasn't been told in a long time. Usually, it's, 'I'm an immigrant, I came here and got persecuted.' My story is I came here, I worked hard, and it worked out all right. So it's still available.
Craig Ferguson
Technically my dog's naked most of the time. Except halloween, when I dress him up as Liza Minelli.
Craig Ferguson
It's a great day for America, everybody! It's Monday, woo.
Craig Ferguson
Oprah's quitting in 2011. Now we know why the Mayans ended their calendar in 2012
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I didn't say no because between safety and adventure I choose adventure.
Craig Ferguson
If you're frightened of leprechauns, the best thing to do is to get yourself a little leprechaun outfit and see how big they are. And then you'll go, 'Well I see. That's like bein' frightened of a hampster.'
Craig Ferguson
Sometimes my pathology just spills out into the camera doesn't it?
Craig Ferguson
There is a new survey out about the happiest professions. I think the whole premise is flawed. You're supposed to find true happiness outside of work. From friends, family, and YouTube videos of old people falling down.
Craig Ferguson
I proved to my own satisfaction that I am madder than I think.
Craig Ferguson
