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I'm a vulgar lounge entertainer, I don't need to wear a tie.

Craig Ferguson

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Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Lounge
Entertainer
Entertainers
Vulgar
Ties
Wear
Need
Needs

More quotes by Craig Ferguson

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Ros was dead. He had loved heroin more than it loved him. I was shocked beyond imagining he was the first of my friends to fall.
Craig Ferguson
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The Smurfs 2 is a great movie. The Smurfs are tiny little creatures that everybody loves. They're like Justin Bieber - minus the part about everybody loving him.
Craig Ferguson
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Welcome back, my cheeky wee monkeys.
Craig Ferguson
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I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It's quite tricky and actually nerve-racking to do that. It's kind of a happy train wreck.
Craig Ferguson
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I proved to my own satisfaction that I am madder than I think.
Craig Ferguson
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I always wanted to make motion pictures, ever since I was a wee boy, and I was 32, and time was marching on. I met a guy who said, 'Come out to Hollywood for 10 days, and I'll get you a deal.' So I figured, 'OK, 10 days.' On the 10th day, he got me a development deal with Disney, not for a lot of money, but it allowed me to make the move.
Craig Ferguson
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A new survey says one in three adults will be dressing up for Halloween. As for me, I'm not going to do anything. I'm going as Congress.
Craig Ferguson
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People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay teeth.
Craig Ferguson
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Its easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket.
Craig Ferguson
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I aim to please. I'm nothing if not a vaudevillian.
Craig Ferguson
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I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!
Craig Ferguson
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I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be rich to the extent that all I care about is keeping my job. I don't care enough about keeping my job right now. That's good. That makes effective at what I do. I don't want to be frightened of getting fired. So to that end I suppose my ambitions are that I spend less than I earn.
Craig Ferguson
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There is a new bill in the Senate that is upsetting a lot of people. This bill would give the President the power to shut off the Internet. Al Gore is strongly opposed to it. Not because he invented the Internet. Because he did. But because he just signed up for Match.com.
Craig Ferguson
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Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.
Craig Ferguson
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In Washington, the U.S. House passed a bill unanimously. Every single member of both parties voted for it. What was it? To deny Social Security benefits to Nazis. So from now on, no SS for the SS.
Craig Ferguson
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I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that.
Craig Ferguson
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Here in California, we passed a law against texting while driving. But there's no law preventing you from writing a letter while driving.
Craig Ferguson
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It's a great day for Sarah Palin. She was hired as a commentator for Fox News. She signed a multi-year contract, which means she'll probably quit after a year.
Craig Ferguson
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I always appreciated my teachers. When I was 16, I gave them the greatest gift I could think of. I dropped out of school.
Craig Ferguson
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People sometimes say to me: Craig, get out of my garden.
Craig Ferguson