Quote

The devil is not abroad at night in the form of a cat or a wolf or any other animal. He lives eternally in the hearts of men.

Craig Ferguson

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Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Heart
Abroad
Men
Cat
Hearts
Devil
Animal
Lives
Night
Eternally
Form
Wolf

More quotes by Craig Ferguson

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Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell said recently that Hollywood needs to re-evaluate what they're doing because movies these days are all filled with gay sex and extramarital affairs. And I thought, 'Have fun in Congress then.
Craig Ferguson
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There are rumors that there is a John Edwards sex tape. People say it's twenty minutes of Edwards caressing and stroking...And that's just the part where he fixes his hair.
Craig Ferguson
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Welcome back, my cheeky wee monkeys.
Craig Ferguson
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This book could scare them. The sex, the violence, the dream sequences and the iconoclasm - I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with that. I understand that. It was very uncomfortable to write some of it
Craig Ferguson
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Director Oliver Stone says he's going to make a movie about Vladimir Putin. I can't believe anyone would want to work with that insane communist. And Putin is a little crazy as well.
Craig Ferguson
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Today Monopoly added a new game piece: the cat. The new piece was chosen after weeks of online voting. Is that a surprise? Whenever there's a vote for something on the Internet, the cat always wins.
Craig Ferguson
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I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation.
Craig Ferguson
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Ratings experts say the best way to get people to watch during sweeps is to leave the audience with a question that won't be answered until the next time the show is on. You know, like Who shot J.R.? I like to think I do this every night - the question is, Is this show still on?
Craig Ferguson
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I'm not aware of having a creepy laugh, but apparently I do.
Craig Ferguson
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A junkie will steal your purse, and then help you look for it.
Craig Ferguson
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They say give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But teach a man to fish and he'll get his own show on the Discovery Channel.
Craig Ferguson
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Justin Bieber's tour bus was stopped by Canadian border patrol agents. And they found marijuana. The agents said Bieber was a disgrace to Canada and should never come back. Then they found the marijuana.
Craig Ferguson
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I became a terrible drunk or alcoholic - or a good one depending on your point of view.
Craig Ferguson
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I don't think of myself of a late-show host any more than I think of myself of a game-show host. I mean, I've done both, I've been an actor. I'm just kind of a carny, that's it.
Craig Ferguson
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Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vaccinations.
Craig Ferguson
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I aim to please. I'm nothing if not a vaudevillian.
Craig Ferguson
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I don't see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then have a foot out the door looking for their next job.
Craig Ferguson
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World War Z is out today. The big zombie movie. The trailer looks scary. You see hordes of bodies climbing and rolling over each other. It's like Black Friday at the mall.
Craig Ferguson
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Here's a tip for all you aspiring young comics: Don't beat up the customers. It is very difficult to get laughs from an audience when you've actually drawn blood from one of their number. It kills the mood.
Craig Ferguson
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Personally, I hope he doesn't get out of the campaign. I need Rick Perry. I don't want to spend the next year trying to do jokes about Mitt Romney.
Craig Ferguson