Quote

Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van?

Craig Ferguson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Like
Flock
Flocks
Vans
Stolen
Band
Stills
Remember
Seagulls
Still
Seagull

More quotes by Craig Ferguson

Image
Halloween's eve is also known as mischief night. Kids are supposed go around playing pranks tonight. That's great, just what teenagers need -- another excuse to be jerks.
Craig Ferguson
Image
You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Sometimes they would just pay me to stay home and not do anything else, which sounds fantastic but doesn't do much for your ego. Its probably a little like getting alimony - the money is nice but has a nasty aftertaste.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians.
Craig Ferguson
Image
In some countries Women's Day is a national holiday and men give women flowers. In America Women's Day falls on another holiday, Mardi Gras, where men give women beads in the respectful and post-feminist desire to see their naked boobies.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I think that clearly it has an influence, to be coming of age during the punk rock era, to come from a difficult and sporadically violent background, to have been in and out of such chaos, I think it actually helps. But I don't know for sure.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I didn't say no because between safety and adventure I choose adventure.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I think I'll be Scottish in every movie I write. They always try to talk me out of it, but Woody Allen is always a nebbish New Yorker. Why shouldn't I be a goofy Glaswegian?
Craig Ferguson
Image
It is Veterans Day, when we honor everyone who served in all of the campaigns. We honor them with dignity and respect, and of course mattress sales and tire discounts.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I always appreciated my teachers. When I was 16, I gave them the greatest gift I could think of. I dropped out of school.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Old people really do have a secret though. You wanna know what it is? Luck.
Craig Ferguson
Image
My pilot's license. I'm proud of that.
Craig Ferguson
Image
A New York City judge struck down a proposed law to ban sodas larger than 16 ounces. I think Mayor Bloomberg should spend his time trying to improve stuff like education. New York needs a better education system if kids didn't figure out they could get around the 16-ounce soda ban by simply purchasing two 12-ounce sodas.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Thank heaven Election Day is over. No more campaign ads, no more mud-slinging, no more candidates pretending they're straight. It's over!
Craig Ferguson
Image
Welcome back, my cheeky wee monkeys.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.
Craig Ferguson
Image
She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy. I do have a knack for finding great women.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Wait! Don't applaud my cheapness! I've got other crap I need help with!
Craig Ferguson
Image
Osama bin Laden's death has been in the news all day. Leftish stations are going, 'President Obama saves the world.' Stations on the right are going, 'Obama kills fellow Muslim.'
Craig Ferguson