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In the past I've been hard on the vegans. I've called them Prius-driving fascists, but now I am one of them. I have been turned to the dark side.
Craig Ferguson
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Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
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Sides
Called
Vegans
Dark
Prius
Past
Fascists
Hard
Vegan
Driving
Turned
More quotes by Craig Ferguson
You know when you're a kid and you think, 'Oh no, I've got double math, this is never gonna end,' but then it ends, and it's like it never happened? That's like life.
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CBS announced they're canceling As The World Turns. Don't worry though, if you're addicted to the twisted plots, the intrigue, the illicit sex, you can still watch golf.
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That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil.
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Democrats are calling Christine O'Donnell 'the Sarah Palin of the East.' Really? She's a loud, emotionally unstable woman from Delaware. That's not Sarah Palin, that's Joe Biden.
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Whether I or anyone else accepted the concept of alcoholism as a disease didn't matter what mattered was that when treated as a disease, those who suffered from it were most likely to recover.
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Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party.
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Tomorrow's just your future yesterday.
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I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be rich to the extent that all I care about is keeping my job. I don't care enough about keeping my job right now. That's good. That makes effective at what I do. I don't want to be frightened of getting fired. So to that end I suppose my ambitions are that I spend less than I earn.
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These days, teachers have it rough. Kids can be hyperactive, disobedient, and obnoxious. It must feel like being locked in a room of drunk midgets.
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When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die.
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I watched the Republican debate. At one point, the candidates said there are no classes in America, a point then hotly debated by all six rich white guys that were there.
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Wait! Don't applaud my cheapness! I've got other crap I need help with!
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The sexy magazine in Britain in that time was called Club International. Club International: It was about as international as the International House of Pancakes. It should have been called Naked Cockney Girls with Scurvy.
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It seemed that I performed better sober than drunk. Who knew?
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Director Oliver Stone says he's going to make a movie about Vladimir Putin. I can't believe anyone would want to work with that insane communist. And Putin is a little crazy as well.
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During the cold war, West Berlin was an exclave - a tiny outpost of liberalism surrounded by people who want to crush it. It was like Austin, Texas.
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Ocean's 13 is all about cool people having a good time, and who doesn't want to see that? Well you, apparantly, 'cause you're watching me.
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Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.
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If a man doesn't know how to dance he doesn't know how to make love, there I said it!
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Things were very different back in 1992. There was unrest in the Middle East, we had a gridlocked Congress, and everybody was talking about Bill Cosby.
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