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Today Prince William went to Washington, D.C., and he met with President Obama. He said, 'It feels weird being in the White House because I'm not an American.' And then Prince William said, 'Yeah, me too.'

Craig Ferguson

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Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Yeah
Went
American
William
White
Prince
President
Washington
House
Weird
Today
Mets
Feels
Obama

More quotes by Craig Ferguson

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If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in.
Craig Ferguson
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I would prefer as a viewer to watch the mistakes. I am my own blooper reel, as it happens.
Craig Ferguson
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I think commercialism helps Christmas and I think that the more capitalism we can inject into the Christmas holiday the more spiritual I feel about it
Craig Ferguson
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Democrats are calling Christine O'Donnell 'the Sarah Palin of the East.' Really? She's a loud, emotionally unstable woman from Delaware. That's not Sarah Palin, that's Joe Biden.
Craig Ferguson
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Great, as long as you're happy
Craig Ferguson
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The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful.
Craig Ferguson
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Tomorrow is your future's yesterday.
Craig Ferguson
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I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer -- I'm a dragon irritater.
Craig Ferguson
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Stand by your bed and salute me.
Craig Ferguson
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Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell said recently that Hollywood needs to re-evaluate what they're doing because movies these days are all filled with gay sex and extramarital affairs. And I thought, 'Have fun in Congress then.
Craig Ferguson
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Oh Satan you're a wily one.
Craig Ferguson
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In some countries Women's Day is a national holiday and men give women flowers. In America Women's Day falls on another holiday, Mardi Gras, where men give women beads in the respectful and post-feminist desire to see their naked boobies.
Craig Ferguson
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The whole idea of re-releasing old movies does bother me a little bit. If they're going to re-release an old movie, I should be able to get in with my old ticket.
Craig Ferguson
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Don't hit women. Never, ever, ever.
Craig Ferguson
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It's Earth Day today. Let me tell you something about polar bears. They're endangered but you have to be careful because a polar bear is one of the few animals that will stalk a human. If you go to where polar bears live, it might stalk you and when you're on the plane going home, it might be behind you reading.
Craig Ferguson
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Valentine's Day is celebrated a little differently here in L.A. Nobody eats chocolate because of the calories, so people give each other tofu-shaped boxes filled with bean curd. Then they fantasize about what their Pilates instructor would be like if he was straight.
Craig Ferguson
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At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to.
Craig Ferguson
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People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay teeth.
Craig Ferguson
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A New York City judge struck down a proposed law to ban sodas larger than 16 ounces. I think Mayor Bloomberg should spend his time trying to improve stuff like education. New York needs a better education system if kids didn't figure out they could get around the 16-ounce soda ban by simply purchasing two 12-ounce sodas.
Craig Ferguson
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You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.
Craig Ferguson