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Jeb Bush announced today on the Internet that he may run for president. The next presidential election could be Bush vs. Clinton. It will be like 1992 all over again except I won't be in rehab.

Craig Ferguson

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Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Today
Bush
May
Election
Like
Clinton
Except
Internet
President
Rehab
Running
Announced
Next
Presidential

More quotes by Craig Ferguson

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My pilot's license. I'm proud of that.
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I don't know much about the Supreme Court. If it's anything like the Supreme Taco, it's like a regular court, but with extra sour cream.
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Stoners just got a powerful new ally in the fight to legalize marijuana - conservative broadcaster Pat Robertson. He said it's time to 'you know, legalize it, tax it, and keep it away from Mel Gibson.'
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What we do have is nothin' but time. Welcome to the Shawshank Redemption of late night!
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Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people.
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He was in awe of the thirst that people had for someone to tell them that everything was going to be all right. He marveled at the gullibility and vulnerability of his fellow humans. No wonder the churches called them sheep. They were woolly-headed pack animals being herded around for the benefit of whoever knew how to control the dogs.
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Everything I think of now is too rude to actually say.
Craig Ferguson
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I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians.
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I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it.
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I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!
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I think comedy as an art involves the audience as a participant as much as is involves the artist.
Craig Ferguson
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A junkie will steal your purse, and then help you look for it.
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Larry King has been married more times than Henry the Eighth. We used to have that rhyme to keep track of them. 'Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived.' With Larry I think it goes, 'Divorced, beheaded, divorced, escaped. Zombie, lesbian, disappeared, inflatable.
Craig Ferguson
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For me, comedy should have a certain amount of joy in it. It should be about attacking the powerful - the politicians, the Trumps, the blowhards - going after them. We shouldn't be attacking the vulnerable.
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Sometimes my pathology just spills out into the camera doesn't it?
Craig Ferguson
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Oprah's quitting in 2011. Now we know why the Mayans ended their calendar in 2012
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I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It's quite tricky and actually nerve-racking to do that. It's kind of a happy train wreck.
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President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it’s not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate.
Craig Ferguson
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They say give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But teach a man to fish and he'll get his own show on the Discovery Channel.
Craig Ferguson
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Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell said recently that Hollywood needs to re-evaluate what they're doing because movies these days are all filled with gay sex and extramarital affairs. And I thought, 'Have fun in Congress then.
Craig Ferguson