Quote

Halloween's eve is also known as mischief night. Kids are supposed go around playing pranks tonight. That's great, just what teenagers need -- another excuse to be jerks.

Craig Ferguson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Night
Mischief
Another
Halloween
Kids
Teenager
Around
Tonight
Also
Excuse
Jerks
Need
Supposed
Pranks
Great
Playing
Teenagers
Needs
Known
Jerk

More quotes by Craig Ferguson

Image
You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Old people really do have a secret though. You wanna know what it is? Luck.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Tomorrow is your future's yesterday.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer -- I'm a dragon irritater.
Craig Ferguson
Image
There's going to be a new cable-TV channel for dogs. Dogs don't even watch TV. But the schedule came out today. And they've got great shows, like Barks & Recreation and Game of Bones.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Oprah's quitting in 2011. Now we know why the Mayans ended their calendar in 2012
Craig Ferguson
Image
Andy Warhol said that in the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. Facebook is exactly like that except you're not really famous and your 15 minutes goes on forever.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I view my own body as a petting zoo. I am the main attraction... And the only customer.
Craig Ferguson
Image
These days, teachers have it rough. Kids can be hyperactive, disobedient, and obnoxious. It must feel like being locked in a room of drunk midgets.
Craig Ferguson
Image
President Obama said that we rely too much on gadgets. He gave a passionate speech about technology, but he had to stop when the teleprompter broke.
Craig Ferguson
Image
It takes a long time to become a lawyer because you need three things - a bachelor's degree, a law degree, and a desire to worship Satan.
Craig Ferguson
Image
This book could scare them. The sex, the violence, the dream sequences and the iconoclasm - I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with that. I understand that. It was very uncomfortable to write some of it
Craig Ferguson
Image
The three drunkest cities in America: Fresno, Riverside, and whatever Mel Gibson is driving through.
Craig Ferguson
Image
World War Z is out today. The big zombie movie. The trailer looks scary. You see hordes of bodies climbing and rolling over each other. It's like Black Friday at the mall.
Craig Ferguson
Image
If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in.
Craig Ferguson
Image
There's just a feeling you get from certain things you do in life that just kind of feel pure and independent of what's actually, physically, going on.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Wait! Don't applaud my cheapness! I've got other crap I need help with!
Craig Ferguson
Image
I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now.
Craig Ferguson
Image
In Washington, the U.S. House passed a bill unanimously. Every single member of both parties voted for it. What was it? To deny Social Security benefits to Nazis. So from now on, no SS for the SS.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I'm so excited about the new iPad, I just iPeed my iPants.
Craig Ferguson