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There's something I believe wholeheartedly: Cynicism is the true refuge of the pseudo-intellectual, .. Cynicism is easy. Joy is an extremely advanced spiritual and intellectual tenet.

Craig Ferguson

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Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Joy
Wholeheartedly
Spiritual
Cynic
Easy
Pseudo
True
Advanced
Something
Cynicism
Believe
Refuge
Extremely
Intellectual
Tenet

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Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people.
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There is a new bill in the Senate that is upsetting a lot of people. This bill would give the President the power to shut off the Internet. Al Gore is strongly opposed to it. Not because he invented the Internet. Because he did. But because he just signed up for Match.com.
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Here in California, we passed a law against texting while driving. But there's no law preventing you from writing a letter while driving.
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I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.
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Santa blows all these shipping companies away. He delivers more than 2 billion packages in just 24 hours. He does it by sleigh. He doesn't use tracking numbers and doesn't use trucks. He just uses midgets and a giant bag.
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When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we'd get drunk together. He was always very supportive. He was a big star and a lot of what he said to me had power and impact. Apart from that, I just like him.
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I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could be done, and, after all, many of them were recovering alcoholics themselves.
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A dozen swimming events have already been completed in the Olympic competition. I wonder where they got the name 'Speedo.' It doesn't sound like a bathing suit, it sounds like a breakfast cereal for meth addicts.
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You know who they're blaming for global warming now? This is true. Fat people.
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Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape.
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I always appreciated my teachers. When I was 16, I gave them the greatest gift I could think of. I dropped out of school.
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If it doesn't work, at least it will be an interesting train wreck.
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Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van?
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Oh Satan you're a wily one.
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I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now.
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Ocean's 13 is all about cool people having a good time, and who doesn't want to see that? Well you, apparantly, 'cause you're watching me.
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I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!
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I have no ambitions beyond being comfortable in what I do for a living - and earning a living.
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I do a show. It comes on late at night on TV. And if that means I'm a late-night talk show host, then I guess I am, but in every other regard I resign my commission, I don't care for it.
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Its easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket.
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