Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation.
Craig Ferguson
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Bars
Child
Running
Around
Whole
Children
Life
Revelation
World
Revelations
More quotes by Craig Ferguson
In some countries Women's Day is a national holiday and men give women flowers. In America Women's Day falls on another holiday, Mardi Gras, where men give women beads in the respectful and post-feminist desire to see their naked boobies.
Craig Ferguson
You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff.
Craig Ferguson
In Washington, the U.S. House passed a bill unanimously. Every single member of both parties voted for it. What was it? To deny Social Security benefits to Nazis. So from now on, no SS for the SS.
Craig Ferguson
The nation of Iran is threatening to sue the makers of the movie Argo. They say the movie was an unrealistic portrayal of their country. You can't do that! That would be like Scotland suing over the movie Shrek.
Craig Ferguson
I said that the only way I could have a band that would work in the format of my show is if the band were crap. So if I have a band they'd have to really suck.
Craig Ferguson
It's a great day for America, everybody! It's Monday, woo.
Craig Ferguson
I'm so excited about the new iPad, I just iPeed my iPants.
Craig Ferguson
Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child.
Craig Ferguson
President Obama said that we rely too much on gadgets. He gave a passionate speech about technology, but he had to stop when the teleprompter broke.
Craig Ferguson
Apple released the upgraded version of the iPhone 4, called the iPhone 4S. I think the S stands for suckers.
Craig Ferguson
I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies.
Craig Ferguson
Halloween's eve is also known as mischief night. Kids are supposed go around playing pranks tonight. That's great, just what teenagers need -- another excuse to be jerks.
Craig Ferguson
I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It's quite tricky and actually nerve-racking to do that. It's kind of a happy train wreck.
Craig Ferguson
Old people really do have a secret though. You wanna know what it is? Luck.
Craig Ferguson
Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde is a metaphor for alcoholism. He drinks a potion, becomes a monster. I know exactly how he feels.
Craig Ferguson
Stand by your bed and salute me.
Craig Ferguson
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van?
Craig Ferguson
I became a terrible drunk or alcoholic - or a good one depending on your point of view.
Craig Ferguson
I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it.
Craig Ferguson
I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be rich to the extent that all I care about is keeping my job. I don't care enough about keeping my job right now. That's good. That makes effective at what I do. I don't want to be frightened of getting fired. So to that end I suppose my ambitions are that I spend less than I earn.
Craig Ferguson
