Quote

There are rumors that there is a John Edwards sex tape. People say it's twenty minutes of Edwards caressing and stroking...And that's just the part where he fixes his hair.

Craig Ferguson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Hair
Rumors
Part
Rumor
People
Tape
Twenty
Twenties
Caressing
John
Stroking
Sex
Edwards
Minutes
Fixes

More quotes by Craig Ferguson

Image
The 3-D effects in Star Wars are so realistic, you can actually see George Lucas reaching from the screen and taking the money from your wallet.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I do a show. It comes on late at night on TV. And if that means I'm a late-night talk show host, then I guess I am, but in every other regard I resign my commission, I don't care for it.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I proved to my own satisfaction that I am madder than I think.
Craig Ferguson
Image
It seemed that I performed better sober than drunk. Who knew?
Craig Ferguson
Image
People sometimes say to me: Craig, get out of my garden.
Craig Ferguson
Image
The whole idea of re-releasing old movies does bother me a little bit. If they're going to re-release an old movie, I should be able to get in with my old ticket.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Here in Los Angeles, school's out for summer. For thousands of school kids, this is the first week of summer vacation. And for thousands of parents, it's the first week of hell.
Craig Ferguson
Image
If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I don't think of myself of a late-show host any more than I think of myself of a game-show host. I mean, I've done both, I've been an actor. I'm just kind of a carny, that's it.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.
Craig Ferguson
Image
In some countries Women's Day is a national holiday and men give women flowers. In America Women's Day falls on another holiday, Mardi Gras, where men give women beads in the respectful and post-feminist desire to see their naked boobies.
Craig Ferguson
Image
You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.
Craig Ferguson
Image
CBS announced they're canceling As The World Turns. Don't worry though, if you're addicted to the twisted plots, the intrigue, the illicit sex, you can still watch golf.
Craig Ferguson
Image
You know who they're blaming for global warming now? This is true. Fat people.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Every year there's a jury at the Cannes Film Festival. Getting on the jury is very competitive in France. Not because the French love cinema, but because they love to judge.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Oh Satan you're a wily one.
Craig Ferguson
Image
There is a new survey out about the happiest professions. I think the whole premise is flawed. You're supposed to find true happiness outside of work. From friends, family, and YouTube videos of old people falling down.
Craig Ferguson