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Great, as long as you're happy
Craig Ferguson
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Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Happy
Great
Long
More quotes by Craig Ferguson
If it doesn't work, at least it will be an interesting train wreck.
Craig Ferguson
This book could scare them. The sex, the violence, the dream sequences and the iconoclasm - I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with that. I understand that. It was very uncomfortable to write some of it
Craig Ferguson
Bush's memoir is 512 pages. To be fair, 200 of those pages are just games and puzzles.
Craig Ferguson
Al Qaeda has declared war on the Somali pirates. That is awesome! Evil against evil. Like Alien versus Predator or Cheney versus his lawyer.
Craig Ferguson
The nation of Iran is threatening to sue the makers of the movie Argo. They say the movie was an unrealistic portrayal of their country. You can't do that! That would be like Scotland suing over the movie Shrek.
Craig Ferguson
Historically, when Americans don't know what to do next, they go to Paris. Benjamin Franklin is like: 'What am I going to do now? I'll go to Paris!'
Craig Ferguson
People sometimes say to me: Craig, get out of my garden.
Craig Ferguson
I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could be done, and, after all, many of them were recovering alcoholics themselves.
Craig Ferguson
You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff.
Craig Ferguson
Valentine's Day is celebrated a little differently here in L.A. Nobody eats chocolate because of the calories, so people give each other tofu-shaped boxes filled with bean curd. Then they fantasize about what their Pilates instructor would be like if he was straight.
Craig Ferguson
You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.
Craig Ferguson
Here at CBS, spring also means March Madness. I love the name March Madness. I'm glad the PC police haven't made us change March Madness to early spring psychosis.
Craig Ferguson
Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.
Craig Ferguson
The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful.
Craig Ferguson
Aphrodisiacs come in many forms: food, drink, the internet.
Craig Ferguson
The devil is not abroad at night in the form of a cat or a wolf or any other animal. He lives eternally in the hearts of men.
Craig Ferguson
He will know from and early age that failure is not disgrace. It's just a pitch that you missed, and you'd better get ready for the next one. The next one might be the shot heard round the world. My son and I are Americans, we prepare for glory by failing until we don't.
Craig Ferguson
Stoners just got a powerful new ally in the fight to legalize marijuana - conservative broadcaster Pat Robertson. He said it's time to 'you know, legalize it, tax it, and keep it away from Mel Gibson.'
Craig Ferguson
114 isn't as old as it used to be they say its the new 104.
Craig Ferguson
The whole idea of re-releasing old movies does bother me a little bit. If they're going to re-release an old movie, I should be able to get in with my old ticket.
Craig Ferguson