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President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it’s not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate.
Craig Ferguson
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Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Election
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Printed
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If it doesn't work, at least it will be an interesting train wreck.
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A New York City judge struck down a proposed law to ban sodas larger than 16 ounces. I think Mayor Bloomberg should spend his time trying to improve stuff like education. New York needs a better education system if kids didn't figure out they could get around the 16-ounce soda ban by simply purchasing two 12-ounce sodas.
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My pilot's license. I'm proud of that.
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The Smurfs 2 is a great movie. The Smurfs are tiny little creatures that everybody loves. They're like Justin Bieber - minus the part about everybody loving him.
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Jeb Bush announced today on the Internet that he may run for president. The next presidential election could be Bush vs. Clinton. It will be like 1992 all over again except I won't be in rehab.
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Every year there's a jury at the Cannes Film Festival. Getting on the jury is very competitive in France. Not because the French love cinema, but because they love to judge.
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Tomorrow is your future's yesterday.
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Ros was dead. He had loved heroin more than it loved him. I was shocked beyond imagining he was the first of my friends to fall.
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I think comedy as an art involves the audience as a participant as much as is involves the artist.
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I think I'll be Scottish in every movie I write. They always try to talk me out of it, but Woody Allen is always a nebbish New Yorker. Why shouldn't I be a goofy Glaswegian?
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Al Qaeda has declared war on the Somali pirates. That is awesome! Evil against evil. Like Alien versus Predator or Cheney versus his lawyer.
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I knew that I had been partially right in the storeroom above the bar on Christmas Day. Whoever I had become had to die.
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You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.
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Here in California, we passed a law against texting while driving. But there's no law preventing you from writing a letter while driving.
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I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could be done, and, after all, many of them were recovering alcoholics themselves.
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Here at CBS, spring also means March Madness. I love the name March Madness. I'm glad the PC police haven't made us change March Madness to early spring psychosis.
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Here in Los Angeles, school's out for summer. For thousands of school kids, this is the first week of summer vacation. And for thousands of parents, it's the first week of hell.
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