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A new survey says one in three adults will be dressing up for Halloween. As for me, I'm not going to do anything. I'm going as Congress.

Craig Ferguson

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Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Going
Dressings
Dressing
Halloween
Congress
Adults
Says
Three
Survey
Anything
Surveys

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Some people watching CNN were so shocked they started rioting. No, I'm kidding. No one watches CNN.
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Here at CBS, spring also means March Madness. I love the name March Madness. I'm glad the PC police haven't made us change March Madness to early spring psychosis.
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I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could be done, and, after all, many of them were recovering alcoholics themselves.
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Tomorrow's just your future yesterday.
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Old people really do have a secret though. You wanna know what it is? Luck.
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Harry Potter, he sends a message on Owl Mail while us poor old muggles have to make do with instantaneous emails and texting. Oh, if only we could be like you Harry Potter, with your four day owl delivery!
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Great, as long as you're happy
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Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people.
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I always wanted to make motion pictures, ever since I was a wee boy, and I was 32, and time was marching on. I met a guy who said, 'Come out to Hollywood for 10 days, and I'll get you a deal.' So I figured, 'OK, 10 days.' On the 10th day, he got me a development deal with Disney, not for a lot of money, but it allowed me to make the move.
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I think people are as individual as snowflakes, they kinda look alike but no two are the exactly the same, and all classification is the root of prejudice.
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I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!
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Andy Warhol said that in the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. Facebook is exactly like that except you're not really famous and your 15 minutes goes on forever.
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I hated the summer jobs I had when I was a teenager. They were so mundane and repetitious, they deadened my soul. On the bright side, it was good training for this job.
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President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it’s not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate.
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If you know anything about me - and, if you do, I'm sorry that your life turned out like that.
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There's something I believe wholeheartedly: Cynicism is the true refuge of the pseudo-intellectual, .. Cynicism is easy. Joy is an extremely advanced spiritual and intellectual tenet.
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I dont know how to add things to my own wikipedia page.
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People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid.
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Oprah's quitting in 2011. Now we know why the Mayans ended their calendar in 2012
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