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From this moment on I'd dedicate my life to rock and roll and take as many drugs as possible. What could possibly go wrong?

Craig Ferguson

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Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Moment
Roll
Moments
Drugs
Take
Possibly
Many
Rock
Life
Drug
Rocks
Possible
Wrong
Dedicate

More quotes by Craig Ferguson

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I salute Rick Perry for the way he's trying to overcome this. Today he came out and said he's not one of those slick politicians, that this just shows his human side, and some third excuse he can't remember.
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Al Qaeda has declared war on the Somali pirates. That is awesome! Evil against evil. Like Alien versus Predator or Cheney versus his lawyer.
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Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.
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On that same tour we ran into a band at Aylesbury Friars, a biggish venue in Oxfordshire, England. They were a four-piece from Ireland called U2. They seemed like nice fellows and they sounded pretty good, but we didn’t keep in touch. They’re probably taxi drivers and accountants by now.
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I view my own body as a petting zoo. I am the main attraction... And the only customer.
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I think in our desire to create a better America,we have to have civilized debate in this country and not just yelling.
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Oh Satan you're a wily one.
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I had lived in fear of the fabled terrifying visions that assail chronic drinkers, but which had not yet attacked me.
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That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil.
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Italian women are some of the most beautiful in the world. This is why the Vatican is in Italy. If a man can walk across Italy and retain his celibacy, he's got what it takes to be a priest - or an interior decorator.
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Welcome back, my cheeky wee monkeys.
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Every year there's a jury at the Cannes Film Festival. Getting on the jury is very competitive in France. Not because the French love cinema, but because they love to judge.
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Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people.
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There's a commercial break coming and I'm very excited about it and you know why? Because that's what keeps daddy in suits.
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President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it’s not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate.
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Here in California, we passed a law against texting while driving. But there's no law preventing you from writing a letter while driving.
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I think comedy as an art involves the audience as a participant as much as is involves the artist.
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I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.
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I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it.
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It seemed that I performed better sober than drunk. Who knew?
Craig Ferguson