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114 isn't as old as it used to be they say its the new 104.

Craig Ferguson

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Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Used

More quotes by Craig Ferguson

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The most popular Valentine's Day gift is chocolate. In the 1800's, doctors told their patients to eat chocolate to get over a broken heart. They also thought if you're going to be alone, who cares if you get fat.
Craig Ferguson
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On that same tour we ran into a band at Aylesbury Friars, a biggish venue in Oxfordshire, England. They were a four-piece from Ireland called U2. They seemed like nice fellows and they sounded pretty good, but we didn’t keep in touch. They’re probably taxi drivers and accountants by now.
Craig Ferguson
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I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it.
Craig Ferguson
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Strange star-like object over Oslo right before Obama arrives. A gift of a golden medal given by a group of wise men... Nah.
Craig Ferguson
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I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer -- I'm a dragon irritater.
Craig Ferguson
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Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child.
Craig Ferguson
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I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that.
Craig Ferguson
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The views expressed by Me are in no way endorsed by CBS any of its allied companies or in fact Me.
Craig Ferguson
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Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell said recently that Hollywood needs to re-evaluate what they're doing because movies these days are all filled with gay sex and extramarital affairs. And I thought, 'Have fun in Congress then.
Craig Ferguson
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At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to.
Craig Ferguson
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I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.
Craig Ferguson
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Today Prince William went to Washington, D.C., and he met with President Obama. He said, 'It feels weird being in the White House because I'm not an American.' And then Prince William said, 'Yeah, me too.'
Craig Ferguson
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The nation of Iran is threatening to sue the makers of the movie Argo. They say the movie was an unrealistic portrayal of their country. You can't do that! That would be like Scotland suing over the movie Shrek.
Craig Ferguson
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I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could be done, and, after all, many of them were recovering alcoholics themselves.
Craig Ferguson
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I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies.
Craig Ferguson
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Harry Potter, he sends a message on Owl Mail while us poor old muggles have to make do with instantaneous emails and texting. Oh, if only we could be like you Harry Potter, with your four day owl delivery!
Craig Ferguson
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These days, teachers have it rough. Kids can be hyperactive, disobedient, and obnoxious. It must feel like being locked in a room of drunk midgets.
Craig Ferguson
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Here at CBS, spring also means March Madness. I love the name March Madness. I'm glad the PC police haven't made us change March Madness to early spring psychosis.
Craig Ferguson
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I knew that I had been partially right in the storeroom above the bar on Christmas Day. Whoever I had become had to die.
Craig Ferguson
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Love at first sight is not rare, in fact it is extremely common, it happens to some people a few times a year. The feeling of what if when meeting the eyes of a stranger can be love unrecognized.
Craig Ferguson