Quote

Old people really do have a secret though. You wanna know what it is? Luck.

Craig Ferguson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Though
Really
People
Wanna
Luck
Secret

More quotes by Craig Ferguson

Image
There's something I believe wholeheartedly: Cynicism is the true refuge of the pseudo-intellectual, .. Cynicism is easy. Joy is an extremely advanced spiritual and intellectual tenet.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Some people watching CNN were so shocked they started rioting. No, I'm kidding. No one watches CNN.
Craig Ferguson
Image
At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Strange star-like object over Oslo right before Obama arrives. A gift of a golden medal given by a group of wise men... Nah.
Craig Ferguson
Image
A casino in South Dakota was robbed by a man dressed as a mummy. The police described the suspect as anywhere between 25 and 8,000 years old.
Craig Ferguson
Image
My pilot's license. I'm proud of that.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Rush Limbaugh says if the health care bill passes, he will leave the country. The Democrats are upset, because if they knew that, they would have passed the bill years ago.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I don't think of myself of a late-show host any more than I think of myself of a game-show host. I mean, I've done both, I've been an actor. I'm just kind of a carny, that's it.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Oh Satan you're a wily one.
Craig Ferguson
Image
World War Z is out today. The big zombie movie. The trailer looks scary. You see hordes of bodies climbing and rolling over each other. It's like Black Friday at the mall.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians.
Craig Ferguson
Image
You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Director Oliver Stone says he's going to make a movie about Vladimir Putin. I can't believe anyone would want to work with that insane communist. And Putin is a little crazy as well.
Craig Ferguson
Image
They say give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But teach a man to fish and he'll get his own show on the Discovery Channel.
Craig Ferguson
Image
It was on this day that the Bahamas declared independence. Before that they were a British colony. The British Empire lost Canada and the Bahamas, to name just a couple. Britain's been dumped more times than Taylor Swift. But did they go writing whining songs about it? No.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.
Craig Ferguson
Image
Today Prince William went to Washington, D.C., and he met with President Obama. He said, 'It feels weird being in the White House because I'm not an American.' And then Prince William said, 'Yeah, me too.'
Craig Ferguson
Image
I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World War, I'd be a black marketeer, I think.
Craig Ferguson
Image
I hated the summer jobs I had when I was a teenager. They were so mundane and repetitious, they deadened my soul. On the bright side, it was good training for this job.
Craig Ferguson
Image
It is Veterans Day, when we honor everyone who served in all of the campaigns. We honor them with dignity and respect, and of course mattress sales and tire discounts.
Craig Ferguson