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He will know from and early age that failure is not disgrace. It's just a pitch that you missed, and you'd better get ready for the next one. The next one might be the shot heard round the world. My son and I are Americans, we prepare for glory by failing until we don't.

Craig Ferguson

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Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
World
Failing
Rounds
Ready
Shot
Heard
Shots
Age
Son
Disgrace
Success
Glory
Pitch
Next
Americans
Missed
Better
Early
Prepare
Might
Failure
Round

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By the power of Steven Wright's Beard!
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I always appreciated my teachers. When I was 16, I gave them the greatest gift I could think of. I dropped out of school.
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The Smurfs 2 is a great movie. The Smurfs are tiny little creatures that everybody loves. They're like Justin Bieber - minus the part about everybody loving him.
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A dozen swimming events have already been completed in the Olympic competition. I wonder where they got the name 'Speedo.' It doesn't sound like a bathing suit, it sounds like a breakfast cereal for meth addicts.
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I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation.
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Apple released the upgraded version of the iPhone 4, called the iPhone 4S. I think the S stands for suckers.
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Change is the law of God's mind and resistance to it is the source of all pain.
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I proved to my own satisfaction that I am madder than I think.
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Here's a tip for all you aspiring young comics: Don't beat up the customers. It is very difficult to get laughs from an audience when you've actually drawn blood from one of their number. It kills the mood.
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Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape.
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A New York City judge struck down a proposed law to ban sodas larger than 16 ounces. I think Mayor Bloomberg should spend his time trying to improve stuff like education. New York needs a better education system if kids didn't figure out they could get around the 16-ounce soda ban by simply purchasing two 12-ounce sodas.
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The devil is not abroad at night in the form of a cat or a wolf or any other animal. He lives eternally in the hearts of men.
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You know who they're blaming for global warming now? This is true. Fat people.
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This story is true. Of course, there are many lies therein and most of it did not happen, but it's all true. In that sense it is deeply religious, perhaps even biblical.
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Being guilty tends to engender feelings of guilt.
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What we do have is nothin' but time. Welcome to the Shawshank Redemption of late night!
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Democrats are calling Christine O'Donnell 'the Sarah Palin of the East.' Really? She's a loud, emotionally unstable woman from Delaware. That's not Sarah Palin, that's Joe Biden.
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For the first time in history, Congress has 100 women in it. Congratulations. Welcome to modern times, America. It's great having 100 women in Congress. Unless you're in line for the congressional bathroom.
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Aphrodisiacs come in many forms: food, drink, the internet.
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I think I'll be Scottish in every movie I write. They always try to talk me out of it, but Woody Allen is always a nebbish New Yorker. Why shouldn't I be a goofy Glaswegian?
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