Quote

I said that the only way I could have a band that would work in the format of my show is if the band were crap. So if I have a band they'd have to really suck.

Craig Ferguson

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Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Show
Shows
Work
Really
Way
Suck
Would
Format
Crap
Band

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Old people really do have a secret though. You wanna know what it is? Luck.
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I always wanted to make motion pictures, ever since I was a wee boy, and I was 32, and time was marching on. I met a guy who said, 'Come out to Hollywood for 10 days, and I'll get you a deal.' So I figured, 'OK, 10 days.' On the 10th day, he got me a development deal with Disney, not for a lot of money, but it allowed me to make the move.
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I grew up in Scotland in the 1970s. There was not much money. The most popular Christmas toy was probably a potato.
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A new survey says one in three adults will be dressing up for Halloween. As for me, I'm not going to do anything. I'm going as Congress.
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I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!
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I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.
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It's a great day for America, everybody! It's Monday, woo.
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Wait! Don't applaud my cheapness! I've got other crap I need help with!
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Every year there's a jury at the Cannes Film Festival. Getting on the jury is very competitive in France. Not because the French love cinema, but because they love to judge.
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People sometimes say to me: Craig, get out of my garden.
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I salute Rick Perry for the way he's trying to overcome this. Today he came out and said he's not one of those slick politicians, that this just shows his human side, and some third excuse he can't remember.
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It's a great day for Sarah Palin. She was hired as a commentator for Fox News. She signed a multi-year contract, which means she'll probably quit after a year.
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My pilot's license. I'm proud of that.
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Santa blows all these shipping companies away. He delivers more than 2 billion packages in just 24 hours. He does it by sleigh. He doesn't use tracking numbers and doesn't use trucks. He just uses midgets and a giant bag.
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Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van?
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Apple released the upgraded version of the iPhone 4, called the iPhone 4S. I think the S stands for suckers.
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These days, teachers have it rough. Kids can be hyperactive, disobedient, and obnoxious. It must feel like being locked in a room of drunk midgets.
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You know who they're blaming for global warming now? This is true. Fat people.
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Great, as long as you're happy
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If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in.
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