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The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful.

Craig Ferguson

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Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Australians
Upset
Awful
Idea
Ideas

More quotes by Craig Ferguson

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Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party.
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The most popular Valentine's Day gift is chocolate. In the 1800's, doctors told their patients to eat chocolate to get over a broken heart. They also thought if you're going to be alone, who cares if you get fat.
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The first day of spring is known as the vernal equinox. The equinox is special. It only happens twice a year, like a good night in ratings for NBC.
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I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies.
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I'm so excited about the new iPad, I just iPeed my iPants.
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What we do have is nothin' but time. Welcome to the Shawshank Redemption of late night!
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I always appreciated my teachers. When I was 16, I gave them the greatest gift I could think of. I dropped out of school.
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If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone.
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Rush Limbaugh says if the health care bill passes, he will leave the country. The Democrats are upset, because if they knew that, they would have passed the bill years ago.
Craig Ferguson
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If you're frightened of leprechauns, the best thing to do is to get yourself a little leprechaun outfit and see how big they are. And then you'll go, 'Well I see. That's like bein' frightened of a hampster.'
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Old people really do have a secret though. You wanna know what it is? Luck.
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I grew up in Scotland in the 1970s. There was not much money. The most popular Christmas toy was probably a potato.
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Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.
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The views expressed by Me are in no way endorsed by CBS any of its allied companies or in fact Me.
Craig Ferguson
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You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff.
Craig Ferguson
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A new restaurant here in Southern California requires women to wear high heels. I'm outraged! This is sexist! Why just the women?
Craig Ferguson
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These days, teachers have it rough. Kids can be hyperactive, disobedient, and obnoxious. It must feel like being locked in a room of drunk midgets.
Craig Ferguson
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They say give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But teach a man to fish and he'll get his own show on the Discovery Channel.
Craig Ferguson
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Ros was dead. He had loved heroin more than it loved him. I was shocked beyond imagining he was the first of my friends to fall.
Craig Ferguson
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I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could be done, and, after all, many of them were recovering alcoholics themselves.
Craig Ferguson