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Historically, when Americans don't know what to do next, they go to Paris. Benjamin Franklin is like: 'What am I going to do now? I'll go to Paris!'

Craig Ferguson

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Craig Ferguson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: May 17
Aircraft Pilot
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Historically
Franklin
Paris
Americans
Next
Going
Like
Benjamin

More quotes by Craig Ferguson

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I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!
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You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.
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Thank heaven Election Day is over. No more campaign ads, no more mud-slinging, no more candidates pretending they're straight. It's over!
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Technically my dog's naked most of the time. Except halloween, when I dress him up as Liza Minelli.
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An 83-year-old male prostitute was arrested. Police say he only charged $20 an hour, but for most of that time, he just talked about his grandkids.
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Former president Bill Clinton was elected on this very day in 1992. Clinton went on to leave quite a mark in the oval office... You mean the one on the sofa?
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It's a great day for Sarah Palin. She was hired as a commentator for Fox News. She signed a multi-year contract, which means she'll probably quit after a year.
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I think comedy as an art involves the audience as a participant as much as is involves the artist.
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I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost.
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Here at CBS, spring also means March Madness. I love the name March Madness. I'm glad the PC police haven't made us change March Madness to early spring psychosis.
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New iPod. It looks like an iPhone but it can't make phone calls. So its really just an iPhone.
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Andy Warhol said that in the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. Facebook is exactly like that except you're not really famous and your 15 minutes goes on forever.
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Director Oliver Stone says he's going to make a movie about Vladimir Putin. I can't believe anyone would want to work with that insane communist. And Putin is a little crazy as well.
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Al Qaeda has declared war on the Somali pirates. That is awesome! Evil against evil. Like Alien versus Predator or Cheney versus his lawyer.
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I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies.
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I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.
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Everything I think of now is too rude to actually say.
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I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians.
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Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing.
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Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van?
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