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You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.

Colin Quinn

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Colin Quinn
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: June 6
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Colin Edward Quinn
Thinking
Impossible
Funny
Write
Anything
Writing
Predict
Way
Finished
Good
Works
Think
Either

More quotes by Colin Quinn

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The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems.
Colin Quinn
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Well... you know, I would wake up with a terrible hangover in a jail somewhere and worst part was that I would not know why I was there.
Colin Quinn
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Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.
Colin Quinn
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You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.
Colin Quinn
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The Senate was holding hearings on deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly, making them think they're going to get a bunch of money, when in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.
Colin Quinn
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My name has zero value.
Colin Quinn
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I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.
Colin Quinn
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The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.
Colin Quinn
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I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.
Colin Quinn
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Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.
Colin Quinn
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I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.
Colin Quinn
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So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.
Colin Quinn
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I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.
Colin Quinn
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I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows.
Colin Quinn
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I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.
Colin Quinn
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That’s the beauty of being a comedian: it’s the one job you’re allowed to do that. We’re lucky. We’re really lucky.
Colin Quinn
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I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.
Colin Quinn
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I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ.
Colin Quinn
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I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.
Colin Quinn
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New York Stat agreed to pay $12 million to settle a lawsuit filed three decades ago by inmates swept up in the bloody 1971 revolt at Attica prison. The settlement will be paid in the form of chocolate bars and packs of Newports that can be picked up in the commissary.
Colin Quinn