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I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

Colin Quinn

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Colin Quinn
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: June 6
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Colin Edward Quinn
Feel
Feels
Like
Wit
Witty
Impression
English
Kings
Reason

More quotes by Colin Quinn

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My name has zero value.
Colin Quinn
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I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.
Colin Quinn
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The Senate was holding hearings on deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly, making them think they're going to get a bunch of money, when in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.
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People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.
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A weird sort of awareness set in, like, 'Wow. My stand-up isn't just separate from everything else I do anymore.' With Twitter and Face book, everything is universal that everything everybody says gets seen.
Colin Quinn
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Somehow, it was so happy a time. Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.
Colin Quinn
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I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.
Colin Quinn
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So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.
Colin Quinn
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The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems.
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Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.
Colin Quinn
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The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.
Colin Quinn
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You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.
Colin Quinn
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I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ.
Colin Quinn
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I write all the time - I write poetry, I love to write
Colin Quinn
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New York Stat agreed to pay $12 million to settle a lawsuit filed three decades ago by inmates swept up in the bloody 1971 revolt at Attica prison. The settlement will be paid in the form of chocolate bars and packs of Newports that can be picked up in the commissary.
Colin Quinn
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I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.
Colin Quinn
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I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.
Colin Quinn
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You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.
Colin Quinn
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That’s the beauty of being a comedian: it’s the one job you’re allowed to do that. We’re lucky. We’re really lucky.
Colin Quinn
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I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.
Colin Quinn