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I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.
Colin Quinn
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Colin Quinn
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: June 6
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Colin Edward Quinn
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Witty
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English
Kings
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More quotes by Colin Quinn
Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.
Colin Quinn
I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.
Colin Quinn
I write all the time - I write poetry, I love to write
Colin Quinn
So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.
Colin Quinn
You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.
Colin Quinn
I used to love the election season'cause it's kind of fun. Everyone makes a big sport out of it with all these different news stories and everything. I like it better now that everybody knows all the candidates from the past 15 years. But it does get really ugly. It's ugly and it's pugilist.
Colin Quinn
New York Stat agreed to pay $12 million to settle a lawsuit filed three decades ago by inmates swept up in the bloody 1971 revolt at Attica prison. The settlement will be paid in the form of chocolate bars and packs of Newports that can be picked up in the commissary.
Colin Quinn
I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.
Colin Quinn
Somehow, it was so happy a time. Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.
Colin Quinn
That’s the beauty of being a comedian: it’s the one job you’re allowed to do that. We’re lucky. We’re really lucky.
Colin Quinn
It’s sad. Marxism didn’t work. Communism didn’t work. Capitalism doesn’t work. Nothing works. Even democracy doesn’t work. Democracy-the greatest form of government and we have two choices for who’s our leader. In fascism you only have one choice. That’s great. We have one more choice than the worst form of government.
Colin Quinn
I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.
Colin Quinn
The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems.
Colin Quinn
The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.
Colin Quinn
People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.
Colin Quinn
Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.
Colin Quinn
I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows.
Colin Quinn
I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.
Colin Quinn
The Senate was holding hearings on deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly, making them think they're going to get a bunch of money, when in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.
Colin Quinn
I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.
Colin Quinn
