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I have so many evil plans, I'm just trying to find the one which would be best right now!

Colin Mochrie

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Colin Mochrie
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: November 30
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Improviser
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Cille Mheàrnaig
Colin Andrew Mochrie
Find
Right
Many
Trying
Would
Plans
Evil
Best

More quotes by Colin Mochrie

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Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.
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Every song a hit, every hit a smack!
Colin Mochrie
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NASA sends probe to Uranus, people everywhere giggle.
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I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.
Colin Mochrie
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Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me
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Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.
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To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.
Colin Mochrie
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When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.
Colin Mochrie
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We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.
Colin Mochrie
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What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution?
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Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!
Colin Mochrie
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You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.
Colin Mochrie
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I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine.
Colin Mochrie
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You don't sweat much for a fat girl.
Colin Mochrie
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There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky.
Colin Mochrie
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My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.
Colin Mochrie
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My mother on her death bed told me, 'Where the hell did that kangaroo come from!?' - it just popped out of nowhere and punched her in the head and caused a cerebral hemorrhage, so I thought I'd move to a country where there were no kangaroos!
Colin Mochrie
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I don't want to get all lefty, but if we took the defence budgets from around the world, we could end hunger everywhere. I would hope that all the world's leaders are thinking about poverty. Get to work. Do something. This is something that's going to be with us forever.
Colin Mochrie
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If Sting retires, would he have to change his name to Stung?
Colin Mochrie
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But you know, we have more hits than you can possibly think about. One of my personal favorite artists is the wonderful artist named Cher. And although I love much of her late stuff, her early stuff was the stuff that I really, really loved.
Colin Mochrie