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Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?

Colin Mochrie

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Colin Mochrie
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: November 30
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Improviser
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Cille Mheàrnaig
Colin Andrew Mochrie
Wrong
Accident
Bigs
Fats
Makes
Shirts
Look
Colour
Looks
Accidents
Mean
Shot
Decapitated
Really
Shots
Drapes
People
Names
Shirt

More quotes by Colin Mochrie

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Hi, well soon return you to the dyslexic production of Bitty Bitty Chang Chang.
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You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.
Colin Mochrie
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NASA sends probe to Uranus, people everywhere giggle.
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After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall.
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He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.
Colin Mochrie
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When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.
Colin Mochrie
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Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.
Colin Mochrie
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For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.
Colin Mochrie
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This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.
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Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.
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It all started with a badly timed bald joke!
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Hey, come on, I've seen younger faces on money. Money.
Colin Mochrie
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Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.
Colin Mochrie
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Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!
Colin Mochrie
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Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me
Colin Mochrie
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There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky.
Colin Mochrie
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If Sting retires, would he have to change his name to Stung?
Colin Mochrie
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My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.
Colin Mochrie
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I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.
Colin Mochrie
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To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.
Colin Mochrie