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Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?

Colin Mochrie

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Colin Mochrie
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: November 30
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Improviser
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Cille Mheàrnaig
Colin Andrew Mochrie
Makes
Shirts
Look
Colour
Looks
Accidents
Mean
Shot
Decapitated
Really
Shots
Drapes
People
Names
Shirt
Wrong
Accident
Bigs
Fats

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For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.
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After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall.
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When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.
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To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.
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It all started with a badly timed bald joke!
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You don't sweat much for a fat girl.
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He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.
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Hi, well soon return you to the dyslexic production of Bitty Bitty Chang Chang.
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The Hills are alive with the sound of CRAP!
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Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!
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Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, dead at 53. Over Barcelona today, the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report, that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
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This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.
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I have so many evil plans, I'm just trying to find the one which would be best right now!
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Hey, come on, I've seen younger faces on money. Money.
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If Sting retires, would he have to change his name to Stung?
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What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution?
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NASA sends probe to Uranus, people everywhere giggle.
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Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.
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Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me
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Every song a hit, every hit a smack!
Colin Mochrie