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Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?

Colin Mochrie

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Colin Mochrie
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: November 30
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Improviser
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Cille Mheàrnaig
Colin Andrew Mochrie
Look
Colour
Looks
Accidents
Mean
Shot
Decapitated
Really
Shots
Drapes
People
Names
Shirt
Wrong
Accident
Bigs
Fats
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Shirts

More quotes by Colin Mochrie

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I don't want to get all lefty, but if we took the defence budgets from around the world, we could end hunger everywhere. I would hope that all the world's leaders are thinking about poverty. Get to work. Do something. This is something that's going to be with us forever.
Colin Mochrie
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My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.
Colin Mochrie
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It all started with a badly timed bald joke!
Colin Mochrie
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Hey, come on, I've seen younger faces on money. Money.
Colin Mochrie
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I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine.
Colin Mochrie
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Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.
Colin Mochrie
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What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution?
Colin Mochrie
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Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, dead at 53. Over Barcelona today, the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report, that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
Colin Mochrie
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I was a bookworm. Every week I'd go to the library and get seven books. Remember libraries? I wonder if people still go. And I learned about everything from the library. I came from a Scottish family. Old school.
Colin Mochrie
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Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!
Colin Mochrie
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You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.
Colin Mochrie
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NASA sends probe to Uranus, people everywhere giggle.
Colin Mochrie
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Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!
Colin Mochrie
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And if that isnt the truth, it would be a lie.
Colin Mochrie
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After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall.
Colin Mochrie
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This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.
Colin Mochrie
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To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.
Colin Mochrie
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Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me
Colin Mochrie
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Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.
Colin Mochrie
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We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.
Colin Mochrie