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Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?

Colin Mochrie

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Colin Mochrie
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: November 30
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Improviser
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Cille Mheàrnaig
Colin Andrew Mochrie
Look
Colour
Looks
Accidents
Mean
Shot
Decapitated
Really
Shots
Drapes
People
Names
Shirt
Wrong
Accident
Bigs
Fats
Makes
Shirts

More quotes by Colin Mochrie

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There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky.
Colin Mochrie
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Every song a hit, every hit a smack!
Colin Mochrie
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It all started with a badly timed bald joke!
Colin Mochrie
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But you know, we have more hits than you can possibly think about. One of my personal favorite artists is the wonderful artist named Cher. And although I love much of her late stuff, her early stuff was the stuff that I really, really loved.
Colin Mochrie
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For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.
Colin Mochrie
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Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.
Colin Mochrie
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Hi, well soon return you to the dyslexic production of Bitty Bitty Chang Chang.
Colin Mochrie
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Hey, come on, I've seen younger faces on money. Money.
Colin Mochrie
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This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.
Colin Mochrie
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NASA sends probe to Uranus, people everywhere giggle.
Colin Mochrie
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Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!
Colin Mochrie
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When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.
Colin Mochrie
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And if that isnt the truth, it would be a lie.
Colin Mochrie
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Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.
Colin Mochrie
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The Hills are alive with the sound of CRAP!
Colin Mochrie
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Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.
Colin Mochrie
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I was a bookworm. Every week I'd go to the library and get seven books. Remember libraries? I wonder if people still go. And I learned about everything from the library. I came from a Scottish family. Old school.
Colin Mochrie
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You don't sweat much for a fat girl.
Colin Mochrie
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To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.
Colin Mochrie
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After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall.
Colin Mochrie