Quote

Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?

Colin Mochrie

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Colin Mochrie
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: November 30
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Improviser
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Cille Mheàrnaig
Colin Andrew Mochrie
People
Names
Shirt
Wrong
Accident
Bigs
Fats
Makes
Shirts
Look
Colour
Looks
Accidents
Mean
Shot
Decapitated
Really
Shots
Drapes

More quotes by Colin Mochrie

Image
I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.
Colin Mochrie
Image
Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, dead at 53. Over Barcelona today, the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report, that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
Colin Mochrie
Image
If Sting retires, would he have to change his name to Stung?
Colin Mochrie
Image
You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.
Colin Mochrie
Image
Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.
Colin Mochrie
Image
I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine.
Colin Mochrie
Image
Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me
Colin Mochrie
Image
The Hills are alive with the sound of CRAP!
Colin Mochrie
Image
What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution?
Colin Mochrie
Image
He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.
Colin Mochrie
Image
My mother on her death bed told me, 'Where the hell did that kangaroo come from!?' - it just popped out of nowhere and punched her in the head and caused a cerebral hemorrhage, so I thought I'd move to a country where there were no kangaroos!
Colin Mochrie
Image
But you know, we have more hits than you can possibly think about. One of my personal favorite artists is the wonderful artist named Cher. And although I love much of her late stuff, her early stuff was the stuff that I really, really loved.
Colin Mochrie
Image
To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.
Colin Mochrie
Image
I have so many evil plans, I'm just trying to find the one which would be best right now!
Colin Mochrie
Image
This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.
Colin Mochrie
Image
Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.
Colin Mochrie
Image
I was a bookworm. Every week I'd go to the library and get seven books. Remember libraries? I wonder if people still go. And I learned about everything from the library. I came from a Scottish family. Old school.
Colin Mochrie
Image
It all started with a badly timed bald joke!
Colin Mochrie
Image
My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.
Colin Mochrie
Image
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.
Colin Mochrie