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He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.
Colin Mochrie
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Colin Mochrie
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: November 30
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Improviser
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Cille Mheàrnaig
Colin Andrew Mochrie
Film
Identical
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Twins
Still
Blind
Mean
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Twin
More quotes by Colin Mochrie
Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, dead at 53. Over Barcelona today, the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report, that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
Colin Mochrie
But you know, we have more hits than you can possibly think about. One of my personal favorite artists is the wonderful artist named Cher. And although I love much of her late stuff, her early stuff was the stuff that I really, really loved.
Colin Mochrie
My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.
Colin Mochrie
I was a bookworm. Every week I'd go to the library and get seven books. Remember libraries? I wonder if people still go. And I learned about everything from the library. I came from a Scottish family. Old school.
Colin Mochrie
Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?
Colin Mochrie
I don't want to get all lefty, but if we took the defence budgets from around the world, we could end hunger everywhere. I would hope that all the world's leaders are thinking about poverty. Get to work. Do something. This is something that's going to be with us forever.
Colin Mochrie
I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.
Colin Mochrie
We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.
Colin Mochrie
Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.
Colin Mochrie
To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.
Colin Mochrie
I have so many evil plans, I'm just trying to find the one which would be best right now!
Colin Mochrie
Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.
Colin Mochrie
My mother on her death bed told me, 'Where the hell did that kangaroo come from!?' - it just popped out of nowhere and punched her in the head and caused a cerebral hemorrhage, so I thought I'd move to a country where there were no kangaroos!
Colin Mochrie
Every song a hit, every hit a smack!
Colin Mochrie
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.
Colin Mochrie
Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me
Colin Mochrie
NASA sends probe to Uranus, people everywhere giggle.
Colin Mochrie
You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.
Colin Mochrie
I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine.
Colin Mochrie
If Sting retires, would he have to change his name to Stung?
Colin Mochrie