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It all started with a badly timed bald joke!

Colin Mochrie

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Colin Mochrie
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: November 30
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Improviser
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Cille Mheàrnaig
Colin Andrew Mochrie
Timed
Bald
Badly
Joke
Jokes
Started

More quotes by Colin Mochrie

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When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.
Colin Mochrie
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I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine.
Colin Mochrie
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We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.
Colin Mochrie
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Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?
Colin Mochrie
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I was a bookworm. Every week I'd go to the library and get seven books. Remember libraries? I wonder if people still go. And I learned about everything from the library. I came from a Scottish family. Old school.
Colin Mochrie
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After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall.
Colin Mochrie
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Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!
Colin Mochrie
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What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution?
Colin Mochrie
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And if that isnt the truth, it would be a lie.
Colin Mochrie
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Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, dead at 53. Over Barcelona today, the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report, that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
Colin Mochrie
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Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.
Colin Mochrie
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Every song a hit, every hit a smack!
Colin Mochrie
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There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky.
Colin Mochrie
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Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.
Colin Mochrie
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You don't sweat much for a fat girl.
Colin Mochrie
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For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.
Colin Mochrie
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I don't want to get all lefty, but if we took the defence budgets from around the world, we could end hunger everywhere. I would hope that all the world's leaders are thinking about poverty. Get to work. Do something. This is something that's going to be with us forever.
Colin Mochrie
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But you know, we have more hits than you can possibly think about. One of my personal favorite artists is the wonderful artist named Cher. And although I love much of her late stuff, her early stuff was the stuff that I really, really loved.
Colin Mochrie
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My mother on her death bed told me, 'Where the hell did that kangaroo come from!?' - it just popped out of nowhere and punched her in the head and caused a cerebral hemorrhage, so I thought I'd move to a country where there were no kangaroos!
Colin Mochrie
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This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.
Colin Mochrie