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Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.

Colin Mochrie

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Colin Mochrie
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: November 30
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Improviser
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Cille Mheàrnaig
Colin Andrew Mochrie
Wife
Women
Live
Husbands
Wives
Husband
Married
Longer

More quotes by Colin Mochrie

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Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, dead at 53. Over Barcelona today, the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report, that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
Colin Mochrie
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Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me
Colin Mochrie
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It all started with a badly timed bald joke!
Colin Mochrie
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Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.
Colin Mochrie
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We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.
Colin Mochrie
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To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.
Colin Mochrie
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My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.
Colin Mochrie
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There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky.
Colin Mochrie
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Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?
Colin Mochrie
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Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.
Colin Mochrie
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He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.
Colin Mochrie
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And if that isnt the truth, it would be a lie.
Colin Mochrie
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Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!
Colin Mochrie
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I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.
Colin Mochrie
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I am such a pessimist that every project has surpassed what I envisioned.
Colin Mochrie
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What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution?
Colin Mochrie
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My mother on her death bed told me, 'Where the hell did that kangaroo come from!?' - it just popped out of nowhere and punched her in the head and caused a cerebral hemorrhage, so I thought I'd move to a country where there were no kangaroos!
Colin Mochrie
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But you know, we have more hits than you can possibly think about. One of my personal favorite artists is the wonderful artist named Cher. And although I love much of her late stuff, her early stuff was the stuff that I really, really loved.
Colin Mochrie
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You don't sweat much for a fat girl.
Colin Mochrie
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I don't want to get all lefty, but if we took the defence budgets from around the world, we could end hunger everywhere. I would hope that all the world's leaders are thinking about poverty. Get to work. Do something. This is something that's going to be with us forever.
Colin Mochrie