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Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like a brown condom full of walnuts.

Clive James

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Clive James
Age: 80 †
Born: 1939
Born: October 7
Died: 2019
Died: November 24
Author
Broadcaster
Literary Critic
Poet
Television Presenter
Writer
Kogarah
New South Wales
Australia
Clive Vivian Leopold James
Clive Vivian James
Full
Looks
Like
Walnuts
Condom
Arnold
Schwarzenegger
Brown

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Mocking Hugh Hefner is easy to do, and in my mind should be made easier.
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I taught myself Russian, which was very, very useful, especially for poetry and in fact if you can't read Pushkin in Russian, you're really missing something.
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Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.
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The inevitable effect of a biographer's hindsight is to belittle the subject's foresight.
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Television is simultaneously blamed, often by the same people, for worsening the world and for being powerless to change it.
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Sick of being a prisoner of my childhood, I want to put it behind me.
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Ban poetry. And make sure that anyone caught reading it is expelled from school. Then it will acquire the glamour.
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The key to effective teaching is to remember how you learned.
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It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.
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If the humanism that makes civilization civilized is to be preserved into the new century, it will need advocates. These advocates will need a memory, and part of that memory will need to be of an age in which they were not yet alive.
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People should be stopped from writing poetry. There's far too much of it. And if they're any good, they'll go ahead anyways.
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The thing about making a documentary in Las Vegas is there isn't much to film apart from other people making documentaries about Las Vegas.
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It is almost better to be an impulse shirt-buyer than an impulse shoe-buyer. I have worn shirts that made people think I was a retired Mafia hit-man or a Yugoslavian sports convener from Split, but I have worn shoes that made people think I was insane.
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Even in moments of tranquility, Murray Walker sounds like a man whose trousers are on fire.
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I've only got a fraction of the energy I once had, but I think I probably use it better.
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Among artists without talent Marxism will always be popular, since it enables them to blame society for the fact that nobody wants to hear what they have to say.
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On the correctly formed pubescent girl, a Speedo looked wonderful. When it was wet, it was an incitement to riot.
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The essence of a class system is not that the privileged are conscious of their privileges, but that the deprived are conscious of their deprivations.
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You should never trust anyone who listens to Mahler before they're forty.
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I actually didn't like that feeling of being out of touch because what I do depends on being in touch. But it's fun to talk about. That's one of the real dangers of drugs: they're too much fun to talk about.
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