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I am very depressed and deeply disgusted with painting. It is really a continual torture.

Claude Monet

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Claude Monet
Age: 86 †
Born: 1840
Born: November 14
Died: 1926
Died: December 5
Graphic Artist
Painter
Paris
France
Monet
Klod Mone
Claude-Oscar Monet
Cl. Monet
Oscar Claude Monet
monet claude
claude oscar monet
monet c.
Claude Jean Monet
Claude Oscar Monet
C. Monet
Oscar-Claude Monet
Deeply
Painting
Really
Disgusted
Continual
Depressed
Torture
Depression

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I insist upon 'doing it alone'... I have always worked better alone and from my own impressions.
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Gardening was something I learned in my youth when I was unhappy. I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers.
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I'm enjoying the most perfect tranquillity, free from all worries, and in consequence would like to stay this way forever, in a peaceful corner of the countryside like this.
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I will bring lots of studies back with me so I can work on some big things at home.
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It is a tragedy that we live in a world where physical courage is so common, and moral courage is so rare.
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I do have a dream, a tableau of the bathing place of La Grenouillère, for which I've done some bad pochades (sketches), but it is a dream. Renoir, who have just spent a couple of months here, also wants to paint this subject.
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All of a sudden I had the revelation of how enchanting my pond was.
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I can only draw what I see.
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When I work I forget all the rest.
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Getting up at 4 in the morning, I slave away all day until by the evening I'm exhausted, and I end by forgetting all my responsibilities, thinking only of the work I've set out to do.
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Despite my extremely modest prices, dealers and art lovers are turning their backs on me. It is very depressing to see the lack of interest shown in an art object which has no market value.
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When it is dark, it seems to me as if I were dying, and I can't think any more.
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I've spent so long on some paintings that I no longer know what to think of them, and I am definitely getting harder to please nothing satisfies me.
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Color is my day-long obsession, joy and torment. To such an extent indeed that one day, finding myself at the deathbed of a woman who had been and still was very dear to me, I caught myself in the act of focusing on her temples and automatically analyzing the succession of appropriately graded colors which death was imposing on her motionless face.
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My eyes were finally opened and I understood nature. I learned at the same time to love it.
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I get madder and madder on giving back what I feel.
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My aim is to give you only the things with which I am completely satisfied, even if it means asking you a little more [time] for them... for if I were to do otherwise I'd turn into a mere painting machine and you would be landed with a pile of incomplete work which would put off the most enthusiastic of art collectors.
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Despite my exhaustion I have a devil of a time getting to sleep because of the rats above my bed and a pig who lives beneath my room.
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You might perhaps like to see the few canvases I was able to save from the bailiffs and the rest, since I thought you might be so good as to help me a little, as I am in quite a desperate state, and the worst is that I can no longer even work.
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