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Everyone thinks their whole life should be at least as much fun as masturbation.

Chuck Palahniuk

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Chuck Palahniuk
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 21
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Pasco
Washington
Charles Michael Chuck Palahniuk
Much
Thinking
Life
Masturbation
Thinks
Fun
Least
Everyone
Whole

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I disconnect the telephone to keep the outside world in it's correct place.
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Emotionally, in our minds, we get so filled with resentments where we've got a story about absolutely everything.
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No, it's not fair, but what makes Earth feel like Hell is our expectation that it should feel like Heaven. Earth is earth. Dead is dead. You'll find out for yourself soon enough. It won't help the situation for you to get all upset.
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Torture is torture and humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer.
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We've taken the world apart but we have no idea what to do with the pieces.
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The greatest weapon any warrior can carry into battle is absolute certainty of her eternal soul.
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My stories tend to bring people from isolation into community - with at least one other person, usually with a whole community of people - so that they find themselves accepted back by a world that they kind of fled from.
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This isn’t really death, Tyler says, We’ll be legend. We won’t grow old. I tongue the barrel into my cheek and say, Tyler, you’re thinking of vampires.
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We just had a near-life experience!
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And the seventh rule is if this is your first night at fight club, you have to fight.
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I am the child of a lunatic. Not a child of God.
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Every woman is just a different kind of problem.
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If you're not drunk and half naked by this point, you're not paying attention.
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Sobriety is okay enough, Denny says, but someday, I'd like to live a life based on doing good stuff instead of just not doing bad stuff. You know?
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Nothing feels as awful as pouring your heart out to some talk therapist, then realizing this so-called professional is actually vastly stupid and you've just professed your most secret secrets to some goon who's wearing one brown sock and one blue sock.
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The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly.
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Almost all the time, you tell yourself you're loving somebody when you're just using them. This only looks like love.
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I don't know the difference between what I want and what I'm trained to want.
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That quest for something pretty. A cheat. A cliche. Flowers and Christmas lights, it's what we're programmed to love.
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A good story should make you laugh, and a moment later break your heart.
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