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I have a secret goal with my editor - he has asthma and uses his inhaler, and after I send him a new manuscript, I'll have his assistant phone me and tell me how many times he had to get his inhaler out while reading a draft. It's my secret laugh meter.

Chuck Palahniuk

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Chuck Palahniuk
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 21
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Pasco
Washington
Charles Michael Chuck Palahniuk
Use
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Manuscripts
Tell
Phones
Meter
Many
Laugh
Assistants
Laughing
Draft
Secret
Editor
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Editors
Asthma
Reading
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More quotes by Chuck Palahniuk

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I don't remember the hotel rooms or the airports but I always remember the events.
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My point is, that if I'm honest, my life is all about me.
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The girls you meet are never very far from their worst-case scenario.
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If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?
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People had been working for so many years to make the world a safe organized place. Nobody realized how boring it would become.
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Don’t ask me when be­cause I don’t re­mem­ber, but some­where along the way I keep for­get­ting to com­mit sui­cide.
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Honest is how I want to look. The truth doesn't glitter and shine.
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the world is the cradle and your trap.
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Imagine how you’d feel if your whole life turned into a job you couldn’t stand.
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There's still a thousand places I haven't gone to die.
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Everybody's still miserable in the same way they've always been miserable, and more and more of my friends - especially my male friends - find themselves taking anti-anxiety, psychotropic drugs. It seems like everybody I know is wondering if they're really who they are, or once the prescription runs out, will they become someone different?
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The last story you should write is the most important story. You should start with a story that is just an amusing, entertaining, fun story to write and learn your writing chops with the least important things before you start applying them to the most important things.
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Women are already born so far ahead ability-wise. The day men can give birth, that's when we can start talking about equal rights.
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I realized that my book readings were boring me. I was going to go up there and read a passage and sleepwalk through the whole event and I needed to make it more interesting. I wanted to be running and jumping and do something so that the event would be so exciting. I had to trick myself into having fun every time.
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No, Miss Wright didn't want to meet her kid. To her, that relationship was just as important, just as ideal and impossible as it would be to the child. She'd expect that young man to be perfect, smart, and talented, everything to compensate for all the mistakes that she'd made. The whole wasted, unhappy mess of her life.
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On the other side of the handrail, the hallway's gray marble floor looks as if we've climbed a stairway through the clouds.
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Until you find something to fight for, you settle for something to fight against.
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In a world where billions believe their deity conceived a mortal child with a virgin human, it's stunning how little imagination most people display.
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It can only take a moment to waste the rest of your life.
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We've spent so much time judging what other people created that we've created very, very little of our own.
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