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To hell with housework, our top priority has always been between our legs.

Chuck Palahniuk

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Chuck Palahniuk
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 21
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Pasco
Washington
Charles Michael Chuck Palahniuk
Priority
Priorities
Legs
Hell
Always
Housework

More quotes by Chuck Palahniuk

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No mat­ter how much I try and hide this, bit by bit, I start to fall apart.
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You must realize that one day you will die. Until then you are worthless.
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Do you know why most survivors of the Holocaust are vegan? It's because they know what it's like to be treated like an animal.
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After a good-looking boy gives you rabies two, three times, you'll settle down and marry somebody less exciting for the rest of your life
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There's a terrible dark joy when the only person who knows all your secrets is finally dead.
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Emotionally, in our minds, we get so filled with resentments where we've got a story about absolutely everything.
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Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.
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When someone walks in and you say a six-foot-tall man, you miss the opportunity to describe what a six-foot-tall man would look like to your narrator, because how the narrator describes a six-foot-tall man says more about the narrator than about the man.
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There's still a thousand places I haven't gone to die.
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The greatest weapon any warrior can carry into battle is absolute certainty of her eternal soul.
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I have to have everything in my life completely fixed and perfect and cleaned up and I have to be complete with everyone in my life and I have seven days in which to do that. So I might make it to day three or four, but I've never made it all the way to day seven.
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If there’s any trick to doing a job you hate . . . Mrs. Clark says it’s to find a job you hate even more.
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If Marilyn Monroe was alive right now, what would she be doing?' Clawing at the roof of her coffin.
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Getting fired, Tyler says, is the best thing that could happen to any of us. That way, we’d quit treading water and do something with our lives.
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Those who can forget the past are way ahead of the rest of us.
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Fathers. Mothers. With all their caring and attention. They will fuck you up, every time.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Until you find something to fight for, you settle for something to fight against.
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Today is just one of those days the sun comes out to really humiliate you.
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You couldn't have small, dying children in a movie without really bringing everyone down, but you can in comics.
Chuck Palahniuk
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The world can be a lot bet­ter than we set­tle for. All you have to do is ask.
Chuck Palahniuk