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To hell with housework, our top priority has always been between our legs.

Chuck Palahniuk

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Chuck Palahniuk
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 21
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Pasco
Washington
Charles Michael Chuck Palahniuk
Priorities
Legs
Hell
Always
Housework
Priority

More quotes by Chuck Palahniuk

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To a certain extent everybody has a certain sort of way of being a persona that they learn how to be when they're really little. They figure out that if they're really funny, or really pretty, or if they work really, really hard or are really smart, then that's what's going to get them by. That is what is going to make people like them.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Every character sees the world through a framework of education and experience that they're proud experts about. To write a character, find out what they know best, and THEN you'll know how they'll describe a hot day. Or a pretty girl.
Chuck Palahniuk
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The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it's only intangibles, ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Brandy is so attractive you could chop her head off and put it on blue velvet in the window at Tiffany's and somebody would buy it for a million dollars.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Why should I believe any of this?' It happens that fast. I say, because I think I like you. Marla says, 'Not love?' This is a cheesy enough moment, I say. Don't push it.
Chuck Palahniuk
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We all have some proper noun to blame.
Chuck Palahniuk
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You’re training a new employee,' says Mrs. Clark, 'to take over your boring old job.' When you raise a child.
Chuck Palahniuk
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I tiger can smile A snake will say it loves you Lies make us evil
Chuck Palahniuk
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My stories tend to bring people from isolation into community - with at least one other person, usually with a whole community of people - so that they find themselves accepted back by a world that they kind of fled from.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Rant Casey used to say, No matter what happens, it's always now... Talk about cryptic. I think what Rant meant was, we live in the present moment of reality, and no matter what's come before, no matter how much we loved a person or a dog, when it attacks us we'll react to that moment of danger.
Chuck Palahniuk
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If there’s any trick to doing a job you hate . . . Mrs. Clark says it’s to find a job you hate even more.
Chuck Palahniuk
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On game shows, some people will take the trip to France, but most people will take the washer and dryer pair.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Just let yourself be broken and humiliated. Just your whole life, keep telling people, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Chuck Palahniuk
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The first step - especially for young people with energy and drive and talent, but not money - the first step to controlling your world is to control your culture. To model and demonstrate the kind of world you demand to live in. To write the books. Make the music. Shoot the films. Paint the art.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Somehow people have been sold on the idea that only professionals can entertain them, that only professionals can sing or tell jokes. And people are cut out of this creativity loop, and creativity is being limited to these large, centralized voices.
Chuck Palahniuk
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If you look at old pictures, Irene Casey is so pretty. Not just young, but pretty the way you look when your face goes smooth, the skin around your eyes and lips relaxed, the pretty you only look when you love the person taking the picture.
Chuck Palahniuk
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A baby is such a blank slate, like training the understudy for a role you're planning to leave. You truly hope your replacement will do the play justice, but in secret you want future critics to say you played the character better.
Chuck Palahniuk
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You know how both life and porno movies end. The only difference is life starts with the orgasm.
Chuck Palahniuk
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I know so many writers who are a hundred times better than me and have longer, greater ideas than mine, but they gave up they stopped. The biggest talent you can have is determination.
Chuck Palahniuk
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He was assaulting the world by assaulting himself.
Chuck Palahniuk