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I haven't shoplifted since I was 13.

Chuck Palahniuk

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Chuck Palahniuk
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 21
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Pasco
Washington
Charles Michael Chuck Palahniuk
Havens
Haven
Since

More quotes by Chuck Palahniuk

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I don't remember the hotel rooms or the airports but I always remember the events.
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Because I can't hit bottom, I can't be saved.
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If your body is a temple, you can pile up too much deferred maintenance. If your body is a temple, mine was a real fixer-upper.
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We all have some proper noun to blame.
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Here in your mind you have complete privacy. Here there's no difference between what is and what could be.
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You ever wonder if Adam and Eve were just the puppies God dumped because they wouldn't house-train?
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I told him to buy land, my mum says, they’re not making it anymore.
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More and more people are defining themselves not by what they are about, but by what they are against, what they are overcoming, the thing that is wrong with them.
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The cancer I don't have is everywhere now.
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HELLO! Look at me. HELLO! I am so ZEN. This is BLOOD. This is NOTHING. Hello. Everything is nothing, and it's so cool to be ENLIGHTENED. Like me.
Chuck Palahniuk
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In the big factory of perfecting human souls, the Earth was kind of tumbler. The sale as the kind people use to polish rocks. All souls come here to rub the sharp edges off each other. This isn't suffering. It's erosion.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Any time some well-meaning person forces you to demonstrate you have no talent and rubs your nose in the fact you're a failure at the only dream you ever had, take another drink.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Tyler gets me a job as a waiter, after that Tyler's pushing a gun in my mouth and saying, the first step to eternal life is you have to die.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Today is just one of those days the sun comes out to really humiliate you.
Chuck Palahniuk
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The greatest weapon any warrior can carry into battle is absolute certainty of her eternal soul.
Chuck Palahniuk
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The problem with educating stupid people was that they didn’t know they were stupid. The same went for curing crazy people.
Chuck Palahniuk
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No matter what else you came up against, if you could smile and laugh while a monkey did you with chestnuts in a dank concrete basement while somebody took pictures, well, any other situation would be a piece of cake
Chuck Palahniuk
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This deluded little rube who really thought the future would be any better. If you just worked hard enough. If you just learned enough. Ran fast enough. Everything would turn out right, and your life would amount to something.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Most guys will fight to know you. Some guys will deny you're a real person, and some will just ignore you. The zealot. The atheist. The agnostic.
Chuck Palahniuk
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We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra...
Chuck Palahniuk