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A male chauvinist pig isn't born, he's made, and more and more of them are being made by women.

Chuck Palahniuk

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Chuck Palahniuk
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 21
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Pasco
Washington
Charles Michael Chuck Palahniuk
Chauvinist
Pigs
Male
Males
Born
Women
Made

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This isn’t really death, Tyler says, We’ll be legend. We won’t grow old. I tongue the barrel into my cheek and say, Tyler, you’re thinking of vampires.
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I don't know the difference between what I want and what I'm trained to want.
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It's all mirror, mirror on the wall because beauty is power the same way money is power the same way a gun is power.
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You can kill a lifetime without feeling anything but skin.
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Maybe it's our sins that give God consolation when he finally has to give us cancer.
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I admire addicts. In a world where everybody is waiting for some blind, random disaster or some sudden disease, the addict has the comfort of knowing what will most likely wait for him down the road. He's taken some control over his ultimate fate, and his addiction keeps the cause of his death from being a total surprise.
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Do you know why most survivors of the Holocaust are vegan? It's because they know what it's like to be treated like an animal.
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Because tanning and steroids are only a problem if you plan to live a long time.
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You couldn't have small, dying children in a movie without really bringing everyone down, but you can in comics.
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Somehow people have been sold on the idea that only professionals can entertain them, that only professionals can sing or tell jokes. And people are cut out of this creativity loop, and creativity is being limited to these large, centralized voices.
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If you died right now, how would you feel about your life?
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With insomnia, you're never really awake but you're never really asleep.
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It is a hundred-year-old witch book, bound in human skin and probably written in ancient cum...YOU lick it!
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We have pain and hate and love and joy and war in the world because we want them.
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The most boring scenes are the scenes where a character is alone.
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Self improvement is masturbation.
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The difference between how you look and how you see yourself is enough to kill most people. And maybe the reason vampires don’t die is because they can never see themselves in photographs or mirrors.
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I have a secret goal with my editor - he has asthma and uses his inhaler, and after I send him a new manuscript, I'll have his assistant phone me and tell me how many times he had to get his inhaler out while reading a draft. It's my secret laugh meter.
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The old rule about how a thing of beauty is a joy forever, in my experience, even the most beauteous thing is only a joy for about three hours, tops. After that, she'll want to tell you all about her childhood traumas. Part of meeting these jail girls is it's so sweet to look at your watch and know she'll be behind bars in half an hour.
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A couple drinks. A couple aspirin. Repeat.
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