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You're not getting this back you know. Consider it an asshole tax.

Chuck Palahniuk

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Chuck Palahniuk
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 21
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Pasco
Washington
Charles Michael Chuck Palahniuk
Back
Asshole
Consider
Taxes
Getting

More quotes by Chuck Palahniuk

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By the time you read this, you'll be older than you remember.
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Optimism is the first symptom that any disease is fatal.
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Someday you will die, and until you know that, you're useless to me.
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What we call chaos is just patterns we haven’t recognized. What we call random is just patterns we can't decipher.
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In light this bright, after so long in the dark, everything we can see is only black and white. Only glaring shape-outlines we have to blink against.
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Nothing is static. Even the Mona Lisa is falling apart. Since fight club, I can wiggle half the teeth in my jaw. Maybe self-improvement isn't the answer. Maybe self-destruction is the answer.
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How you're still always trapped. How your head is the cave, your eyes the cave mouth. How you live inside your head and only see what you want. How you only watch the shadows and make up your own meaning.
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Those who remember the past tend to get the story really screwed up.
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You see, life only turns out good or bad for only a little bit. And then it turns out some other way.
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You can say anything if enough people will listen.
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The joke is, we all have the same punchline.
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Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I've ever known.
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These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead.
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When you're thinking about the rest of your life, you're never really thinking more than a couple years down the road.
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Demon or angel or evil spirit, I just need something to show itself. Ghoulie or ghosty or long-legged beastie, I just want my hand held.
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The world can be a lot bet­ter than we set­tle for. All you have to do is ask.
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Nothing feels as awful as pouring your heart out to some talk therapist, then realizing this so-called professional is actually vastly stupid and you've just professed your most secret secrets to some goon who's wearing one brown sock and one blue sock.
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We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are. Sane or insane. Saints or sex addicts. Heroes or victims. Letting history tell us how good or bad we are. Letting our past decide our future. Or we can decide for ourselves. And maybe it's our job to invent something better.
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I'm working harder than I have ever worked in my entire life, but what the hell, my life is my job now, and my job is my life and that's the way it should be.
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The most boring scenes are the scenes where a character is alone.
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