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You're not getting this back you know. Consider it an asshole tax.

Chuck Palahniuk

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Chuck Palahniuk
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 21
Essayist
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Pasco
Washington
Charles Michael Chuck Palahniuk
Asshole
Consider
Taxes
Getting
Back

More quotes by Chuck Palahniuk

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Am I sleeping? Have I slept at all? This is insomnia.
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Where we're standing right now, in the ruins in the dark, what we build could be anything.
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At That Moment, it seemed the whole world cared what happened to him. All those people were hugging him and petting his hair. Everybody asked if he was okay. It seemed that moment would last forever. That you had to risk your life to get love. You had to get right to the edge of death to ever be saved.
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Don't do what you want. Do what you don't want. Do what you're trained not to want. Do the things that scare you the most.
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People fall so in love with their pain, they can’t leave it behind. The same as the stories they tell. We trap ourselves.
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The cancer I don't have is everywhere now.
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The first step to eternal life is you have to die.
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It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.
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Tyler gets me a job as a waiter, after that Tyler's pushing a gun in my mouth and saying, the first step to eternal life is you have to die.
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No matter what else you came up against, if you could smile and laugh while a monkey did you with chestnuts in a dank concrete basement while somebody took pictures, well, any other situation would be a piece of cake
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She drank a glass of wine and looked for something new to ruin with her lack of talent.
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Art never comes from happiness.
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My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.
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The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it's only intangibles, ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die.
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Dude, the place is filling up, I say. It feels like we're living in the bottom half of an hourglass. Like somehow we're running out of time.
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If the living are haunted by the dead, then the dead are haunted by their own mistakes.
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History is filled with brilliant people who wanted to fix things and just made them worse.
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Shotgunning anybody in this room would be the moral equivalent of killing a car, a Barbie doll, a vacuum cleaner. We're all such products.
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It's exhausting, the energy it takes to unknow a truth.
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If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, doesn't it just lie there and rot?
Chuck Palahniuk